Post by graphicsgirl on Feb 20, 2010 6:39:32 GMT -5
YEP! My School of Spandy parody is finally being written! Excuse my crappy writing, the first few chapters are gonna suck so be warned!
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Chapter 1
M lived a happy life up until she was four, she used to live on the island of Bikini Atoll (the island above Bikini Bottom) with her parents Snellie and Gary. Everything was great. And there was always Spandy fan girls around for M to be friends with, and Muppet fans too. But that was until she was four, when she was four years of age, Snellie and Gary went below the surface one day and they were eaten by an escaped sea-rhino. That was pain enough for Snellie and Gary, but their troubles were over in a few seconds flat! As for M, life all too real! So she was sent to live with her aunts, Pearl and Piggy in the southeast of America, armed with nothing but her signature Kermit the Frog hat. That was when life became gray, depressing, lonely, and a million other words along those lines...
M sighed. She'd been stuck with Pearl and Piggy for eight or so years. Life was hell. They lived on the top this high hilltop, everything has overgrown, wilted or dead! There was an old oak tree to the end of the garden but it never beared acorns, the tree was as dead as everything else. Beside the tree was a tiny pond filled with dirty water with no signs of life. Today was a beating hot summer, M was chopping up firewood in the garden while Pearl and Piggy sat in deck chairs, sipping ice cold Krabby Patty smoothies and looking at themselves in their handheld mirrors. Piggy looked a little like a pile of chewed up bubble gum with a big white mop stuck on top.
"I know I am destined for stardom!" cried Piggy fiddling with her platinum blonde hair.
"Yeah, advertising Weight Watchers," laughed Pearl. Piggy glared at her.
Pearl, on the other hand, was as thin as a pencil apart from her massive ugly head.
"I'm the real star round here!" said Pearl, "I'm super slim and I'm EVER so pretty!"
"Your about as pretty as a rotten egg!" Piggy argued.
M felt her arms aching, the axe she was using was far to heavy for a child to use, only a robot could lift that thing without strain. She stared out onto the horizon, she could see for miles. And in the very distance there was a long blue line with a tiny pale yellow dot in the middle of it, that was her old home of Bikini Atoll, oh how she missed it. On a day like this, all her old friends would be out doing their fan girl business. And what was M doing? Chopping stupid wood. Tears started to stream from her eyes (If you could see her eyes that is, they were covered by her hair). She found looking out to the sea far too painful, so she turned round and found a plump pink starfish standing beside her.
"Your lonely aren't you?" asked the starfish.
M jumped back, she couldn't be sure whether she did it because of the mysterious appearance of this stranger or because of the way he stood tall like a ninja but had a voice of an idiot, just the way it sounded. She would have answered his question but she was too taken back to speak. Just as she was about to open her mouth the starfish whispered, "You needn't answer, I know that your one of the loneliest kids in the world,"
'D*rn cheek!' M thought. But the star was right, there wasn't even a pet in the house to keep M company.
The starfish took out a can with "Seanut Brittle" written on it.
"Inside here are some things that'll bring great happiness and magic!" cried the star.
"What's in there? What brings happiness?" M asked.
"Jellyfish legs,"
"What?"
"The legs of a jellyfish put into a computer shell with brain juice, boil for five days and then add a tail of a squirrel, the nose of an octopus, two crabs claws and a pair of plankton antennae. Leave it to stew for a year under a full underwater moon and BINGO!"
The way he cried BINGO made M step back a little, this was just getting creepy. The star just came closer to M.
"Now, you have to get these jellyfish legs into your stomach as quick as possible, and don't spill any, these things will work they're magic on the first thing they see be it human, animal, tree or something else, they'll be the one who get the magic," he whispered in her ear.
The starfish slowly took the lid of the can...slowly...slowly ...KABOOM! Hundreds of tiny pink worm-like thing burst from the can and started to bury away into the soil. M franticly tried to catch them but they were too quick. Within seconds every little jellyfish leg has disappeared.
M looked up and the starfish was gone, vanished. If anyone had seen her now, they'd just see a girl covered in dirt crouched in the soil with those diamond tears rolling down her cheeks.
____________________________________________________
Chapter 1
M lived a happy life up until she was four, she used to live on the island of Bikini Atoll (the island above Bikini Bottom) with her parents Snellie and Gary. Everything was great. And there was always Spandy fan girls around for M to be friends with, and Muppet fans too. But that was until she was four, when she was four years of age, Snellie and Gary went below the surface one day and they were eaten by an escaped sea-rhino. That was pain enough for Snellie and Gary, but their troubles were over in a few seconds flat! As for M, life all too real! So she was sent to live with her aunts, Pearl and Piggy in the southeast of America, armed with nothing but her signature Kermit the Frog hat. That was when life became gray, depressing, lonely, and a million other words along those lines...
M sighed. She'd been stuck with Pearl and Piggy for eight or so years. Life was hell. They lived on the top this high hilltop, everything has overgrown, wilted or dead! There was an old oak tree to the end of the garden but it never beared acorns, the tree was as dead as everything else. Beside the tree was a tiny pond filled with dirty water with no signs of life. Today was a beating hot summer, M was chopping up firewood in the garden while Pearl and Piggy sat in deck chairs, sipping ice cold Krabby Patty smoothies and looking at themselves in their handheld mirrors. Piggy looked a little like a pile of chewed up bubble gum with a big white mop stuck on top.
"I know I am destined for stardom!" cried Piggy fiddling with her platinum blonde hair.
"Yeah, advertising Weight Watchers," laughed Pearl. Piggy glared at her.
Pearl, on the other hand, was as thin as a pencil apart from her massive ugly head.
"I'm the real star round here!" said Pearl, "I'm super slim and I'm EVER so pretty!"
"Your about as pretty as a rotten egg!" Piggy argued.
M felt her arms aching, the axe she was using was far to heavy for a child to use, only a robot could lift that thing without strain. She stared out onto the horizon, she could see for miles. And in the very distance there was a long blue line with a tiny pale yellow dot in the middle of it, that was her old home of Bikini Atoll, oh how she missed it. On a day like this, all her old friends would be out doing their fan girl business. And what was M doing? Chopping stupid wood. Tears started to stream from her eyes (If you could see her eyes that is, they were covered by her hair). She found looking out to the sea far too painful, so she turned round and found a plump pink starfish standing beside her.
"Your lonely aren't you?" asked the starfish.
M jumped back, she couldn't be sure whether she did it because of the mysterious appearance of this stranger or because of the way he stood tall like a ninja but had a voice of an idiot, just the way it sounded. She would have answered his question but she was too taken back to speak. Just as she was about to open her mouth the starfish whispered, "You needn't answer, I know that your one of the loneliest kids in the world,"
'D*rn cheek!' M thought. But the star was right, there wasn't even a pet in the house to keep M company.
The starfish took out a can with "Seanut Brittle" written on it.
"Inside here are some things that'll bring great happiness and magic!" cried the star.
"What's in there? What brings happiness?" M asked.
"Jellyfish legs,"
"What?"
"The legs of a jellyfish put into a computer shell with brain juice, boil for five days and then add a tail of a squirrel, the nose of an octopus, two crabs claws and a pair of plankton antennae. Leave it to stew for a year under a full underwater moon and BINGO!"
The way he cried BINGO made M step back a little, this was just getting creepy. The star just came closer to M.
"Now, you have to get these jellyfish legs into your stomach as quick as possible, and don't spill any, these things will work they're magic on the first thing they see be it human, animal, tree or something else, they'll be the one who get the magic," he whispered in her ear.
The starfish slowly took the lid of the can...slowly...slowly ...KABOOM! Hundreds of tiny pink worm-like thing burst from the can and started to bury away into the soil. M franticly tried to catch them but they were too quick. Within seconds every little jellyfish leg has disappeared.
M looked up and the starfish was gone, vanished. If anyone had seen her now, they'd just see a girl covered in dirt crouched in the soil with those diamond tears rolling down her cheeks.
. 