Welcome to Texas

[Erin]

Ignore him, Angel. I L-O-V-E this chappie! Please update VERY soon! ;D

[angel624]

[glow=blue,2,300]Thanks! Although, I gotta admit, my writing hasn't been as strong as it normally is...however, I think this chapter turned out better than the first four combined! Besides the Spandy-mance that'll show up (I love that word, Spandy-mance!), this sets up the conflict and introduces the villain![/glow]

Five

Sandy’s first speech at the science convention was at 5:00 that afternoon, but she wanted to arrive an hour earlier and show SpongeBob around. With her sister’s borrowed pick-up truck (“Why does almost everyone in Texas have a truck?” SpongeBob asked; “It’s one of our traditions,” Sandy replied, “Like Tex-Mex food, barbecues, and pecan pies.”), they headed into downtown Houston.

If all of Texas could be considered as a state of many wide-open spaces, then Houston was considered the most out-of-place city. Surrounded by open areas on all sides, Houston was the Manhattan of Texas. Skyscrapers reached towards the sky, state flags fluttered in the breeze, and the metro cruised through town, ready to pick up tourists or commuters, whichever was at the station.

But SpongeBob didn’t have the time to look at each of these closely; only fleeting glimpses were available as Sandy drove towards the conference site. She navigated through the confusing twists and turns of the road until she came to a building nearly hidden by the towers. The building was almost entirely white, with a blue stripe encircling it. A neon sign declared the name of the building.

“Downtown Aquarium?” SpongeBob read as Sandy parked the truck, “What’s an aquarium?”

“Well,” Sandy explained, “it’s kinda like a zoo, only…different.”

“Howzat?” SpongeBob asked.

A few minutes later, they were inside; and SpongeBob discovered just why the aquarium was different than a zoo. Instead of open enclosures, there were tanks filled with water. And in those tanks were various sea creatures, such as fish, sharks, starfish…and sponges.

SpongeBob stared at an inanimate tube sponge. “So this is what land folk look at all day?”

“Some of us,” Sandy admitted, “I was one of them. That’s why I ended up becoming a marine biologist and jumping at the chance to live underwater. I wanted to get to know you sea critters better…” Her voice trailed off, and she remarked, mainly to herself, “…who’d have thought I’d end up getting to know one like I know you.”

SpongeBob, however, had pressed his face up against the glass, staring intently at a small blue tang. “Hey!” he remarked, waving to the fish, “it’s Ralph! Hi, Ralph!”

Sandy looked in, as well. “Who the heck’s Ralph?”

“We went to high school together. Now he’s a terra biologist,” SpongeBob said, “you know, a guy who studies land critters.”

“So,” Sandy said, eyes widening in surprise, “he’s the opposite of me.”

SpongeBob nodded rapidly, still excited about seeing his old friend.

Sandy shook her head in disbelief. “The world never ceases to surprise me.”

***

The third story of the aquarium was where the convention was held, and as soon as Sandy entered the room she was hailed by a group of paparazzi.

“Did I mention I was kind of a celebrity here?” Sandy called back to SpongeBob as she tried to fight her way through the crowd of photographers.

“Why are you famous?” SpongeBob asked, getting stuck between a photographer from The Houston Chronicle and one from Weekly World News.

Sandy yanked him free and replied, “Because I’m the best dang marine biologist in Texas, or so they say!”

There was a table and a podium set up for her first presentation. She was setting out her suit, her helmet, and a few pieces of coral and empty scallop shells as a part of her presentation (and SpongeBob was helping) when a voice interrupted her.

“Well, well, well!” it said; the voice belonged to a chunky raccoon dressed in a suit that was a couple of sizes too small for him and not holding up very well. Beside him was a small salamander in a lab coat, furiously taking notes on everything around him.

“Well, well, well,” the raccoon repeated, “if it isn’t Sandra Cheeks. Healing up nicely from those flea bites?”

Sandy narrowed her eyes, and for some unusual reason, the theme from The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly began to play in SpongeBob’s head. “Daniel J. Dorkus,” Sandy said, her voice low and monotone, her muscles tense, “So it was you who planted that flea on me. I suspected as much.”

“That’s Darcus,” Daniel corrected, “and yes, that was me. Who else?” Daniel shook his head in mock consolation. “You poor thing. I hear the chimps are ignoring the fact that you have a Master’s in marine biology and are instead forcing you to invent things for them. That must take away so much time for your studies of the flora and fauna of the Pacific Ocean.”

Sandy scoffed. “Don’t try to use that big talk with me! At least I have the opportunity to study them whenever I want; you, meanwhile, stay huddled in your office because you’re too scared you’d start losing oxygen if you even tried SCUBA-diving for more than five minutes!”

Daniel’s face turned red with anger; SpongeBob, having seen that same expression on Mr. Krabs’ face many times before, quickly ducked under the table. That motion attracted Daniel’s attention.

“Goodness!” he said, “what on earth is that?”

“That,” Sandy explained, “is my friend, SpongeBob Squarepants, hiding under a table.”

“Hmm,” Daniel said, then turned to the salamander next to him. “Write that down, Larry!”

Larry quickly jotted down ‘Squirrel knows sponge.’ on his sheet of paper.

SpongeBob poked his nose out from under the blue tablecloth. “Is it safe to come out yet?”

“Come on out, little sponge,” Daniel said, “I’d like to ask you something.”

SpongeBob’s eyes peeked out. “This is as far as I’m going,” he stated.

Daniel chuckled; it seemed as though the sound had a hard time coming from his lungs and out of his mouth. “Now, Mr. Squarepants, I’d like to know how long you’ve known my friend?”

“Almost ten years,” SpongeBob replied, unwittingly.

“Hmm,” Daniel said; Larry took note of it. “And what sort of activities do you two participate in?”

“Excuse me!” Sandy snapped, “I’m right here!”

“I was talking to the sponge!” Daniel barked, then gently smiled at SpongeBob.

SpongeBob decided that the best thing to do for his health was to answer the question. “We do karate, picnics, movies, crazy suicidal stunts…you know, stuff friends do.”

Larry jotted down, ‘Friends do friendly things together.’

“Well,” Daniel announced, “I believe it’s almost time for your lecture, so I shall take my leave. Good day, Sandra! Good day, SpongeBob!”

Good riddance! thought Sandy and SpongeBob at the exact same time.

As they turned and walked away, Daniel whispered to Larry, “A ten year, man-to-woman friendship? I’m surprised they haven’t pounced on each other yet. It’s a common fact that man/woman friendships turn into romances, especially if they do the sort of intimate things they have done.

Larry jotted down ‘Squirrel/sponge hot for each other [?]’

“Keep an eye and a camera on them, Larry,” Daniel ordered, “If they make any sort of contact, as in a kiss or…more…take a photograph, then send it in to the press. Any credibility of her professionalism would go down the metaphorical drain if word got out she was romantically involved with one of the creatures she was supposed to be studying.”

Larry jotted down, ‘Take blackmail photos.’

Daniel glared at Sandy as she prepared herself for her speech. He smirked and said, “I’ll make sure she is ruined, and then I’ll be the best marine biologist in Texas. At least I won‘t pretend as though it‘s no big deal.” With that, Daniel vanished into the crowd, with Larry trotting behind him.

[glow=blue,2,300]Get it? Dirty Dan? Pinhead Larry?[/glow]

[404]

Haha, My real name was used!

[Erin]

HAHAHA I get it! XD
Any who, good chappie!
Please do update soon!

[angel624]

Well, I'd give you another chapter today, but I have an AP exam to take tomorrow, so I really should study for it/get plenty of sleep/don't do or look at things that will stir up my imagination a lot.

But don't worry; I'll probably have time to work on another chapter on Friday. I have an idea for the perfect Spandy-mance moment (that still keeps them in character)...

[Erin]

YAY MORE SPANDYNESS!

[Muffin]

I totally entirely love this!! XD CONTINUE!!

[Erin]

YES PLEASE!

[usamerican]

I'm sorry Angel that I've been unable to read anything past chapter 1. I've had a group project, a test, an individual project, and a research paper to write this week. I promise to give you my thoughts once I get time to read your work

[angel624]

[glow=blue,2,300]Lovin' the new emoticons!

Well, the AP test was like the city of Rock Bottom: cold, harsh, and impossible to get out of! But, I survived it...hopefully passed it and got college credit for it.

And, usamerican, I understand your predicament. I have two major papers due tommorrow...

And now, I present to you...SPANDY-MANCE MOMENT!!![/glow]

Six

[/b]

Sandy’s speech went well, and when she introduced SpongeBob, the reactions of the other scientists were quite interesting. Several photos were taken of them together, several questions were asked of SpongeBob, and several people just stared and took notes. The first day of the science convention was a hit, and now, at 5:30, Sandy and SpongeBob were returning to Boo Radley’s tree.

Little did they know that everything about their stay in Texas, and their lives, would change at 7:38 that evening.

At 5:35, Sandy and SpongeBob were back at the tree. The first thing they saw when they hopped into the yard was Lefty, jumping safely into Carmen’s arms, who was in the human’s pool. Stacey and Momma were sitting on the edge of the pool, feet in the water and cans of Texas root beer in their hands; Boo Radley was fixing up some barbecue. Everyone was in their bathing suits: Lefty’s was a pink one-piece with a mermaid on it, Carmen’s was a black bikini, Boo Radley’s was a pair of navy-blue board shorts, Stacey’s was a magenta low-cut one-piece, and Momma’s was a floral-patterned one-piece with a skirt.

Carmen smiled when she saw SpongeBob and Sandy. “Hello, you two!” she greeted, then squeezed her daughter’s hand. “Lefty, Aunt Sandy’s back!”

Lefty’s sightless eyes brightened. “Hi, you guys! Come swimming with us!”

SpongeBob, being a water creature, was more than happy to oblige (even though he couldn’t swim). On a whim, he had packed his swim trunks, so he was the first to run upstairs and grab his. Sandy would’ve followed right behind if Stacey hadn’t stopped her.

“Sis,” Stacey said, “we gotta talk.”

“Okay,” Sandy said, “shoot.”

Stacey took a deep breath. “Are you and Rectangle a couple?”

Sandy laughed. “Heck, no! We’re just friends.”

Stacey crossed her arms over her chest. “Really? Are you sure?”

“Of course!” Sandy replied, “Well, I mean, I’ve heard rumors that SpongeBob’s had a crush on me…”

“For almost ten years?!” Stacey exclaimed, “I don’t think that’s a crush. Crushes come and go; this one’s stuck around for a LONG time.”

Sandy, now caught up in her own thoughts, muttered, “…and we have done date-things together: movies, picnics, beach trips, pre-hibernation week stunts…”

Stacey whistled in amazement. “He did pre-hibernation week stuff with you? He’s got some guts!”

Sandy shook her head. “N’aw…even if it was something like that, it’d never work out.”

Time to lower the boom, Stacey thought, and get these two together, once and for all! “And why not? Because of professionalism? I wasn’t supposed to date any of my fellow teachers, but I did; I didn’t get in trouble!”

Sandy shrugged. “It ain’t just that. It’s…you know…he’s so much like Pa…”

“Oh, is that all?” Stacey said, “He’s too much like Pa? What‘s that gotta do with --?”

“I don’t want any sad endings for us,” Sandy snapped, “I mean, look at Momma; she never thought her husband would…!” Sandy gasped and bit her lower lip in surprise; she didn’t know that situation had been affecting her like this!

Stacey hadn’t realized that, either. “Wow,” she said, “I…I’m sorry you feel that way.”

Sandy turned towards the tree and snapped, “Don’t be.”

“But look,” Stacey said, “even if something bad like that does happen to you two…is it worth sacrificing all the good things that could happen?” Sandy stopped, but made no reply; Stacey pressed on. “If you guys love each other, which from reading all those letters you sent me seem like a logical conclusion, then you shouldn’t let fear get in the way. You’re too brave for that, Sandy. Plus, Rectangle seems like the perfect guy for you; he‘s your foil, if you know what I mean.”

Still no response from Sandy. However, SpongeBob ran out at that moment, wearing his swim trunks; he let out a whoop in major thirds and cannonball into the pool. SpongeBob, being a sponge, floated at the top of the pool, singing nonsensical tunes that caused Lefty to laugh with joy.

Stacey smiled at the sight. “Guys like him don’t grow on trees, Sandy.”

This time, there was no response because Sandy had left to change into her swimsuit. With a shrug, Stacey turned and slid into the pool herself.

***

The Cheeks clan and SpongeBob swam and splashed about until 6:17. Around that time, Boo Radley announced that the barbecue was ready. At 6:19, SpongeBob and Sandy had an awkward moment that acted as a precursor for what would happen at 7:38.

Sandy and climbed out of the pool first, with SpongeBob right behind her. However, SpongeBob slipped on the wet deck and collided with Sandy’s ankles. Losing her balance, she tumbled backwards; but, as a squirrel will do when it falls, she flipped around to land on her hands. At the same time, SpongeBob fell on his backside; when the two had landed, Sandy had landed on top of him, their torsos together.

Needless to say, they both blushed. And, needless to say, Larry, who was hiding in the bushes, took a photograph.

It was Lefty who snapped them out of it. “Hey, Aunt Sandy!” she said, “I’ll split one of my hot dogs with you!”

Sandy and SpongeBob scrambled to their feet. “Great, sweetie!” Sandy replied, absent-mindedly, “I’ll be right there!”

Meanwhile, she was thinking, What’s wrong with you?! Acting like a lovesick yearling, around SPONGEBOB, of all critters!

SpongeBob was thinking something along the same lines. Come on, Squarepants, pull yourself together! That’s SANDY you’re blushing around!

Of course, they both reached the same conclusion: Oh, great; ten years I tried to deny it, even though I already knew it, and now it’s definite: I’m in love.

Of course, they just ignored their conclusions, even at 6:58 when they got back in the pool. At 7:30, everyone went inside. However, due to a lack of showers, SpongeBob and Sandy were left in the living room.

Sandy grabbed a blanket, wrapped it around her shoulders, and sat on the floor to avoid getting the furniture wet. She invited SpongeBob to join her under the blanket (what are friends for?), which he did. Until 7:32, they sat in silence: at that time, SpongeBob muttered something.

“Huh, what?” Sandy asked, “I didn’t hear you.”

“I said,” SpongeBob replied, “I like you.”

“Aw, thanks, SpongeBob!” Sandy said, “I like you, too.”

“I mean, like like you,” SpongeBob explained; his cheeks were bright red.

Sandy’s heart was yee-haing like a cowboy at a rodeo. However, all she could say was, “Like like?”

“Well…yeah…” SpongeBob was getting bashful now. “…ever since you saved me from that giant clam, I think I’ve…no, I know I’ve l…” Suddenly, he couldn’t say it. “Luh…luhv….”

“Loved?” Sandy suggested.

“You,” SpongeBob finished.

“Well, whaddya know,” Sandy muttered.

“I dunno, what do I know?” SpongeBob asked.

“It took us ten years to finally say it,” Sandy explained.

SpongeBob’s eyes shone like the inside of an abalone; his heart was exploding with hope. “You mean…?”

“Yep,” Sandy sighed, “ever since you tried to save me from that giant clam, I think I’ve…no, I know I’ve l…” She couldn’t say it, either. “Luh…luhv…”

“Loved?” SpongeBob squeaked.

“You,” Sandy finished.

“Wow.”

“Hmm.”

“Hmm.”

“Yeah.”

Silence. Shyly, he held her hand; she let him. Larry, unseen although he was looking in the window, took a photograph.

“Now what?” SpongeBob asked.

Sandy shrugged. “I dunno, I guess we kiss or…or something…”

SpongeBob, with a shrug of his own, kissed Sandy on the cheek. Larry took a picture of it. “Like that?” SpongeBob asked.

Sandy looked at him and wondered, Should I? Ah, heck, why not? “No…” she answered, “I’m thinking it’s more like this.”

At exactly 7:38, she gave him a kiss on the lips; nothing too long, just a quick, sweet, and gentle (for Sandy) two-second kiss that SpongeBob liked very much and Larry took three pictures of before deciding he had enough blackmail for Daniel and leaving.

After Sandy pulled away, SpongeBob realized he couldn’t move. He had never been kissed before, and certainly not by a girl like Sandy. “Wow.”

Sandy couldn’t move, either. She had never kissed someone before, and certainly not a guy like SpongeBob. “Pretty much.”

SpongeBob asked, “So…are we boyfriend and girlfriend now?”

“Maybe,” Sandy replied, “or maybe just…best-friends-in-love.”

“Best-friends-in-love.” SpongeBob repeated, “I like that. So…can we kiss again?”

Sandy quickly replied, “Maybe tomorrow.”

SpongeBob hung his head. “O-kay,” he muttered, sounding a bit depressed. Sandy laughed and gave him a friendly nudge with her shoulder.

Stacey, wrapped in a bathrobe and a towel wrapped around her ears, had entered the room just as they had kissed. Only now did they realize she was there. Stacey had to fight back the instinct to point at them and laugh, ‘Ha-ha, I knew it! I knew y’all were in love!’ Instead, she just said, “There’s a shower open.”


[glow=blue,2,300]WHEE!

Gosh, I can't wait til graduation next Friday...[/glow]

[Erin]

SWEETNESS ADORABLE FINALLY THERE TOGETHER!

[angel624]

[glow=blue,2,300]*sings 'Bad Boy' by Cascada*[/glow]

Seven

The next morning, breakfast began normally. Friendly conversation abounded, and Sandy only had to kick Stacey once. SpongeBob got to know Sandy’s family a bit better, and Sandy even let him hold her hand.

But when a mockingbird brought the paper, all hell broke loose.

It was Momma who read the paper first. She stood by the window and scanned the front page. Her contented expression quickly changed to a shocked one. She let out a yelp and dropped the paper. Immediately, her three children were on their feet, ready to come to her aid.

Momma stared at Sandy and gasped, “You’re pregnant?!”

Sandy’s face turned quite pale. “What?! No, I’m not!”

Boo Radley picked up the paper and read the headline. His eyes widened and he exclaimed, “SpongeBob’s pregnant?!”

SpongeBob blinked in utter confusion. “I…I don’t think so…I shouldn’t be…”

Stacey picked up the paper and looked at the pictures underneath the headline. Her mouth grimaced in disgust and she stated, “Sandy’s pregnant with SpongeBob’s baby?!”

SpongeBob and Sandy both grimaced. “For Pete’s sake!” Sandy snapped, “we only became best-friends-in-love last night! Why do y’all think I’m pregnant?”

Carmen examined the paper, tried her best to stay calm, handed her sister-in-law the paper, and replied, “Because the reporters, apparently, think you could be.”

Sandy took one look at the front page and yelped. The headlines read, ‘FAMOUS MARINE BIOLOGIST CAUGHT IN ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP WITH SEA SPONGE.’ Right underneath the headline were four pictures, one large and three small lined up underneath the large. The three small pictures were, left to right, of Sandy and SpongeBob holding hands, of their awkward tumble beside the pool, and of SpongeBob’s kiss on Sandy’s cheek. The large picture was, of course, of the two’s first official kiss. Scanning through the actual story, Sandy caught snippets of phrases such as “a show of unprofessionalism,” and “scandalous secrets.” The reporter even had the gall to declare that he “did not believe Sandy’s funding should continue if she squanders it by maintaining a relationship with one of the natives.”

Sandy, in her shock, said a very bad word that SpongeBob never thought he’d hear her say.

Lefty, meanwhile, grew fed up with the fact that no one was telling her what was going on. “Why is everyone so upset?!” she yelled, “Someone, tell me, because I can’t see the darn paper!”

Momma placed a hand on Lefty’s shoulder. “Sweetie,” she said, “Aunt Sandy’s in a bit of trouble.”

“But why?” Lefty asked.

“It’s complicated,” Sandy said, “See, SpongeBob and I…”

Lefty quickly caught on. She leapt from her chair and, feeling her way around with her hands, made her way to SpongeBob and Sandy, hugging them both quite tightly. “I knew you’d be a couple! I could feel it.”

Sandy sighed, kneeling down and holding her niece’s hands in her own. “It’s not that simple, Jonah,” she said; Lefty, upon hearing her real name, knew the situation was serious. “The more people who know you, the more you’re expected to be perfect. People around here…they don’t realize that the sea critters like SpongeBob are people like you and me. They’re thinking that I’ve done something really, really, REALLY bad.”

“But you didn’t!” Lefty said, “you’re just going out with a guy who’s a little bit different.” She ran over to SpongeBob and hugged him. “I think you’re perfect Uncle material!” she said, a few tears trickling out of her eyes, “Why does life have to be so unfair? First grandpa, now this…!”

Sandy sighed. “I’m still trying to figure out who’d do something like this.”

Boo Radley snapped his fingers. “Dirty Dan!” he said, “That
Dorkus guy’s always been jealous of you, you’ve said so yourself!”

Stacey slapped her forehead. “Of course! And Pinhead Larry still hangs out with him, so Daniel could’ve sent him to spy on y’all! Now that he’s got everyone thinking you’re a horrible scientist, he can step up and take home the gold!”

SpongeBob shook his head in disbelief. “That’s an awfully hard thing to do just to get to the top.”

Sandy said, “Something I forgot to mention to you, SpongeBob; people up here ain’t as nice as the people in Bikini Bottom.”

SpongeBob couldn’t exactly process the idea of destroying someone else’s dreams just to get the glory, so he changed the subject. “Well, how do we fix this?”

Sandy put her head in her hands and growled. “I don’t know! My next speech is at 2:00, and I just know the press’ll have questions for me!”

“What if,” Carmen asked, “you just told them the truth?”

Sandy glared at her. “I doubt that’ll work. Let’s face it; I’m in more trouble than Davy Crockett at the Alamo!”

[glow=blue,2,300]And so, writer's block hits...[/glow]

[Muffin]

(Faints) I LOVE THIS SO MUCH I CAN'T EXPRESS HOW I FEEL ABOUT IT WITH WORDS!! *insert awesome comment here* X3

[Erin]

LOVE IT! ;D Please continue! ;D

[Muffin]

...LOL, what happened to this story anyway?