[glow=blue,2,300]Gosh, I hate English essays...I have to write a two-page character analysis essay on
Rosencrantz & Guildenstern are Dead, and I only got one page! I have no idea what else to write, so hopefully my teacher will be nice and help me out...until then, here's chapter four!
By the way, if you wanna connect voices to the new characters, think Billy Ray Cyrus for Boo Radley, Daveigh Chase for Lefty, and Reba McIntire (or however you spell it) for Momma. I don't know who'd be a good voice for Carmen, and I'm the voice of Stacey, and I'm pretty sure you don't know what I sound like.[/glow]
Four
The tree stood at the edge of a cow pasture, next to a wooden fence that marked off where pasture ended and a human’s property began. The human property had a swimming pool, as well as a deck and a bird feeder. And two small children.
The young girl pointed into the tree. Hardly three years old, she already knew the species of certain Texas animals. “Squirrel!” she cheered, pointing into the utmost branches, “Squirrel!”
The girl’s mother also peered into the tree. “Well, would you lookit there?” she remarked, “Sugar’s back! Been awhile since I saw her.”
Meanwhile, in the tree, as Sandy waved to the two humans, SpongeBob chuckled. “Sugar?” he said, “They call you Sugar?”
“Humans are either dumb or ignorant,” Sandy explained, “I’ve told them over and over again, ‘My name is Sandy!’ But they either don’t listen or don’t understand. But, they feed us sometimes, and leave us alone the rest of the time, so they’re forgiven.”
“At least,” Stacey sighed, “the kids don’t call me ‘Nutty’ anymore.”
Sandy whisked SpongeBob into the tree. “Just wait ‘til you meet my brother and his family,” she said, “They’re a hoot and a half!”
The inside of Boo Radley Cheeks’ tree reminded SpongeBob somewhat of Sandy’s tree house, only not as decorative. A few family photos and some posters of various football teams and movies SpongeBob had never heard of were the main decorations.
“Boo Radley!” Sandy yelled, “You here?!”
“In the game room, playing pool, where I’ve always been!” came the reply, and from the said game room emerged a squirrel who was both thin and buff at the same time. He stood head and shoulders taller than Sandy and had piercing green eyes. However, he seemed like a nice enough guy.
“Hey, lil’ sis!” he said, rubbing Sandy’s head as though she were a little kid and ruffling up her fur, “Who’s your friend?”
Sandy placed a hand on what she had always guessed was SpongeBob’s shoulder. “This here’s SpongeBob Squarepants, the first sea critter I ever met.”
“Hi!” SpongeBob said, extending a hand, “Happy to meet you!”
Boo Radley took SpongeBob’s hand in his own and shook it; although he didn’t mean it, his grip was crushingly painful. “Nice to meet you, too.” When he let go, SpongeBob’s hand was bent out of shape and visibly throbbing.
SpongeBob whimpered.
Another squirrel entered at that moment. She was curvaceous and sultry, yet maternal. She gave SpongeBob a warm smile, introduced herself as “Carmen, Boo Radley’s wife” (she had a heavy Spanish accent), then turned to Boo Radley and whispered something. His eyes widened in surprise, then narrowed in a “Oh no, not again” sort of way.
“Excuse me,” he apologized, “but my daughter’s fallen into another cow pie.” Without a further explanation, he and Carmen dashed out.
Another squirrel entered, unseen at first. Her once red fur was turning gray with age; she was Flora Cheeks, the mother of Boo Radley, Stacey, and Sandy. She had come all the way from the city of Whimberly to see her daughter. “Sandra?” she whispered.
Sandy, upon seeing the newcomer, smiled. “Hi, Momma,“ she said, gently hugging her mother.
The elderly squirrel smiled in return. “My Sandra!” she sighed, “I haven’t seen you in ages! Let me get a good look at you…have you lost weight?”
Sandy blushed. “Momma!”
Meanwhile, Stacey strode over to SpongeBob, a mischievous smile on her face. Her plan was still in motion. “Ya know…” she said, casually looking at her fingernails, “Momma always told us to keep on the lookout for a guy as good as our pa had been. You remind me a lot of him.”
“Do I?” SpongeBob said.
“Yep,” Stacey agreed, “I don’t know you that well, but that’s who you remind me of.” She glanced at Sandy. “She always swore she’d find that sort of guy.”
SpongeBob frowned. “And just why are you telling me this?”
“As a heads-up,” Stacey replied, “After all, there’s no helmets separating you two here, so who knows when she could pounce, either for karate practice or something else…”
That was a thought that hadn’t really come to him, which was something Stacey had been counting on. Now that it had been established from his earlier actions that he had a crush on her sister, an now that she had made him realize that the barriers that were separating them were gone, she could migrate to step three, which was…
A filth-covered squirrel child entered at that moment, Boo Radley and Carmen close behind. Underneath all the cow pie, her fur was black and brown, and her eyes icey blue. Her eyes, SpongeBob noticed, never seemed to move from a single spot…then he realized: she was blind!
“Hi,” she said, somehow knowing about SpongeBob‘s presence, “my name’s Jonah, but everyone calls me Lefty. I’d shake your hand and hug aunt Sandy, but I’m kinda covered in poo, so I need to go wash up first.” With that, Boo Radley took her by the hand and guided her towards the restroom.
“My niece,” Sandy explained, “she’s been blind since day one, but that doesn’t stop her.”
Momma smiled. “She takes a lot after Sandra, which could mean a lot of trouble when she’s older.”
Sandy shrugged. “I wasn’t that bad…”
Stacey laughed. “Of course not, you wouldn’t even hold a guy’s hand in high school because you didn’t want to, and I quote, ‘Take that away from your future husband!’”
Sandy blushed. “Stacey!” she yelled, “Why’d you go and say that?”
Stacey smirked, loving the moment. She leaned down to SpongeBob and added, “She was a hopeless romantic, especially when we were seniors. I bet you couldn’t tell from looking at her now, but do you realize she has a box filled with stuff she’s going to give to her husband on her wedding night?”
Sandy growled. “You little…!” she bellowed, “I’LL HOGTIE YOU!”
“Oh, sh…!” Stacey started, but became distracted when she began running for her life.
Momma placed her hand on SpongeBob’s head. She sighed, shaking her head at the calamity, “Welcome to the family.”
[glow=blue,2,300]Don't you just love the Cheeks clan? Teehee...Cheeks...[/glow]
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