Angel's Spandy Oneshots

[angel624]

Wow, imaginative title, eh?

Well, I decided to make a thread for all of my oneshots. Yay!

This first one is a novelisation of a scene from one of my fave eppys of all time, Karate Choppers (my other fave is Texas, because that was our family episode; even my dad liked that episode, and he didn't really care for SpongeBob). I just love all the innuendo of it...XD So I novelised a scene from it, adding a bit more suggestiveness to it.

~~~

How Sandy was Defeated in the Store

The very next day, the karate war continued. However, Sandy was not aware that the karate war was continuing; she thought their phone battle would have been enough to set their inflamed passion for the sport to the side for the rest of the week. That was why she was not at all tense when she went grocery shopping that afternoon.

A cereal box toppled to the floor behind her. She pushed her shopping cart aside and assumed the position for defending herself. She was dreading the worst -- that a thug or, perhaps, SpongeBob, was stalking her -- but found the best -- that there was no one behind her. "Silly me," she muttered and sighed a breath of relief, which was ended abruptly when someone pushed her back against the aisle.

When you fight with one partner or a long period of time, you begin to recognize their body heat before you recognize their body or face. The warm body that was pressed so tightly to hers was one that she could recognize in a crowd of a million: none other than her SpongeBob.

"Hey, Sandy," SpongeBob said, almost whispering into her ear, "Did you hear the one about the squirrel and the tin cans?"

As much as Sandy enjoyed the sponge's close contact, she was not to be trifled with. With a sweep of her arm, a blurred movement of speed, pushed him away. Never before had SpongeBob attacked her just to tell her a joke, and she proceeded with caution. "I don't think so..." she muttered.

SpongeBob grinned like a maniac Sandy knew back in Houston. "Well, it goes something like this!" he shouted, and with that flung his arm like a frisbee and ricocheted it off of several walls and aisles. The other patrons shielded their eyes and such obscene flaunts of karate combat, and Sandy tried to keep track of the arm's rapid changes of direction. Just then, she saw the hand bounce towards her at such a high velocity that she could not block it...

"Oh, wait," SpongeBob muttered, his hand jerking to a halt, "I forgot the punch line." Sandy, still a bit dizzy and winded from following his movements, did not even think about retaliating until it was too late.

"Oh, wait, now I remember!" SpongeBob exclaimed, hitting the tile she stood on. The tile flung up, propelling Sandy across the aisle and into a pile of cans, which promptly toppled onto her.

From underneath her blanket of cans, Sandy was aware of SpongeBob's taunt, "That's a good-un', isn't it?" She knew he was making fun of her accent, but she was too tired from their spar to say anything about it. So, she let it slip by...for now.

~~~

Chicken flower egg seed.

[angel624]

I'd forgotten I'd written this one...

It's an alternate ending to WhoBob WhatPants:

~~~

Remember

Sandy watched him leave. It wasn't fair; after all this time she had spent worrying about him, he was simply going to leave? How dare he!

Patrick was weeping and wailing and gnashing his teeth beside her; Mr. Krabs appeared to be mildly dissapointed (Probably because he ain't got a fry cook now, Sandy mused); Squidward was cheerfully jumping about and shouting his joy to the roof. That was the final thorn it Sandy's heart.

She darted out the door, catching up to SpongeBob in a few quick strides. "Squarepants!" she shouted.

SpongeBob turned around. "Yes, Sandy?"

Sandy's gloved finger came within an inch of SpongeBob's nose; Sandy waggled it threateningly. "Do you realize how much I worried about you? I burst down your dang door just to make sure you were alive! I trekked across the ocean floor with Patrick -- Patrick, of all people! -- just to find you! My heart felt like it died when I realized you didn't remember me! My heart rose from the dead when I just now realized your memory was back! And now, you're gonna abandon me to go be the mayor of some city you wandered into just yesterday?!"

Sandy panted with anger as she prepared herself for her final point. "If you think I'm gonna let you get away from me again, SpongeBob...you are sorely mistaken!"

SpongeBob was highly confused at this point. "What does it matter to you?" he asked, "And when did I ever get away from you?"

Sandy shook her head in disbelief. "You are so dadgummed naive!" she hissed. Then, her voice and eyes softened, and her gaze turned towards her gray boots. "I lost you when you lost your memory. If you hadn't gotten your memory back, I dunno what I would've done. And it matters to me, cuz..." She looked back up; her brown eyes met his blue ones. "...cuz you mean more to me than my job, karate, extreme sports, and even Texas!"

SpongeBob's eyes widened in amazement; he knew just how much Sandy cared about all those things. He let out a low whistle.

Sandy stepped closer to SpongeBob. "And by 'mean more to me,' I ain't just talking about friendship, although that's fine and dandy. I'm talking about l--" It seemed awkward for a squirrel to say 'love' to a sponge, but she had to. "--lo...lov..."

"LOVE?!" SpongeBob gasped, his eyes shining with happiness. Sandy Cheeks loves ME?! Sandy Cheeks loves little ol' ME?!

"Yeah, that's it," Sandy said, smiling, "Love." She sighed and placed her hands on her helmet. "I shoulda done this years ago," she muttered. With that, she took a deep breath and removed it.

This was the second time they had both been underwater without her helmet getting in the way; however, the first time, Sandy had been too busy trying not to drown whilst SpongeBob tormented her. There was none of that nonsense now as Sandy bent down and kissed SpongeBob on the tip of his nose. She then pulled back, about to put the helmet back on her head, when she began to scutinize his face...she then shrugged, as if to say What the heck, why not?, and swiftly kissed his lips.

Sandy screwed the helmet back onto her head and began to breathe, although she noticed it was slightly faster than before. I finally kissed him! she cheered within her head.

She actually kissed me! SpongeBob cheered inside his head. His entire yellow body had flushed red from a mix of embarassment and ecstasy, and he toppled backwards, like a plank of wood falling to the ground.

For a second, Sandy was afraid she had actually killed him. "...SpongeBob?" she asked worriedly.

"Gee hee!" was SpongeBob's only reply.

Sandy giggled, as well. "So...you still wanna go back to New Kelp City? Or would you rather stay here with all your friend? And me?" When she said 'and me,' she tried to add a sexy little giggle; in her own head, she thought she failed; in SpongeBob's head, she succeeded.

"Gee hee!" was SpongeBob's only reply.

Sandy grinned as only a true Texan could. "I'll take that as an 'I'm staying!'" she said, and pulled him to his feet.

~~~

^^

[angel624]

I doubt anyone reads these anymore...

Just a little story I had in mind when I woke up this morning...^^

Slightly depressing and dark, though.

And of course there's karate sex in it.

~~~

United and Seperated

Ever since I met him, I knew I'd found the one.

Yeah, he's a scrawny little nerd, but I absolutely adore him. He was the first guy I'd ever met who didn't run away when he found out my quirks...well, except during pre-hibernation week, but he came running back pretty darn quick. He saw what I turn into during hibernation, that ginormous butt-ugly monster, but didn't turn him away. He witnessed how I act when I got a flea,He saw me without any fur -- which is, in my opinion, when I look the worst -- and still thought I was gorgeous.

At my moments when I looked and felt the worst, that little square dude loved me just as much (and maybe even more) than when I looked and felt my best.

Even though I was stronger and faster than him, he wanted to protect me. When we first met, he tried to save me from that dang giant clam. When the big ol' Alaskan Bull Worm came to Bikini Bottom, he tried to warn me that it was too big and too ornery for me to handle. I didn't believe him, but he was right. That sorta chivalry is all but dead where I come from.

For three years, we were tighter than bark on a tree. We did so much together; jellyfishing, picnics in the park, dinners at fancy restaurants; it was so wonderful. Best of all, we practiced our karate together.

The karate! At first, it was like you'd expect friendly spars to be: we'd throw a few punches, laugh it off, then go about our business. But then, it began to change. It was an exhilarating experince; each chop no longer caused to cry out in pain, but in pleasure. We'd cry and thrust and moan, until we finally reached our peaks, letting out one final cry and collapsing into each other's arms, often falling onto a bed or couch doing so. Never would it go any farther; his clothes and mine, no matter how much we wanted them off, would remain firmly on us.

As we would wait for our pulses to slow down and our adrenaline to calm down, we'd lie in each other's arms, in a lover's embrace. Then we would whisper stories to each other of adventures we'd had. I was amazed at how many stories that little sponge had to tell: all the times he had met Mermaidman & Barnacleboy in person, the time he scared the Tattle-Tale Strangler, even his journey to Shell City. Sometimes we'd ease each other to sleep with our stories; there were more than a few nights when I'd wake up in his arms and bed, blushing madly.

But I loved every moment of it!

Then my bosses handed me over to the Chimps, and that was the beginning of the end.

The Chimps ran me ragged, telling me to study this and build that; not like my old bosses, who left me to do everything at my own pace. I hardly had any time to leave the Treedome, much less play with my friends.

Everything he and I ever did together...didn't happen anymore.

The dinner dates were the first to go. My inventions sometimes lasted long into the night, and I had to finish them if I wanted to stay in the Treedome. The picincs and jellyfishing went next; the Chimps would rather I study the pH balance of the ocean than the anatomy of a jellyfish, and they often scheduled their over-the-phone meetings when we'd go and have a picnic.

When the karate stopped, I knew things were going horribly wrong. There was no more time for karate, whether they were quick spars or night-long stands. For a year or two, before the Chimps decided to let up on their iron schedule, I had to keep my distance from him.

Then, when I tried to bring us back together, I realized just how distant we'd grown.

He'd rather wait for a toy or shower affection on a dadgummed sandwich than share one of our intimate karate spars. He seemed to look to his other friends for intimacy, rather than me. For a few months, I was afraid he was telling his stories to them, not me anymore. I was just the little SCUBA diver, the only air-breather in Bikini Bottom; no longer anyone's beloved.

This went on for far too long: three years.

But, recently...things have begun changing again. We started going on adventures and dates together again (although something often would happen to interrupt our alone time). We shared meals together and captured jellyfishes. We've even begun sparring again, although they are not quite as intimate as they had been. Yet.

I've found my true love, and I'm gonna do whatever I can to keep us together. He ain't getting away from me again, and I ain't getting away from him.

There ain't nothing that's gonna seperate us ever again.

~~~

Merry Christmas to everyone, from the SCUBA diver in Texas!

Hope yours is going smoother than mine (my four nieces are here and one of them just peed all over herself and Mom got on to me because I always get grumpy around these four little drama queens... )

[Muffin]

LOL! These are really good XD I especially enjoyed the WBWP one... That's exactly how I imagined the ending.