Post by peaches2217 on Dec 21, 2010 17:10:49 GMT -5
Chapter 8: How a Dream Comes True...?
Shannon stared out her window as she did every day. This was really beginning to get old... She didn't have much else to do now other than sing "I know it's today, ooooohhh, I know it's today, oooooohhh," over and over again. Sometimes she wondered why she didn't just jump out of that window...
"Hello? I-*pant*is anyone up there?"
Shannon froze in place. Could it be...? Placing her ear against the locked door leading to the mocking flight of stairs she had tried so many times to reach, she listend, and there it was again.
"Oh, Neptune... I should've worn my cup...!"
It was! It was! Her parents had been right! Her prince! He was here! As quickly as she could, she gathered all of her things together in a neat pile, placed a hankerchief on her wrist, grabbed the bouquet of fake flowers, and, as she lay herself down on her cot, said a shor farwell to her dolls and books. She heared a lock turning, and with one last look out the window, she clossed her eyes and lay her head back.
Finally, after 8,492 steps, Squidward was at the door. Wait- There was a door? Why didn't this princess just rescue herself? Probably too weak to get the door unlocked, he thought with a chuckle as he pulled it open and stepped inside.
There she was, alright. Lilac skin, bright purple tail, green-and-gold gown, bouquet of flowers, and there was the window the pamphlet showed her looking out of, too.
"Great," he muttered under his breath, "I got one of the snoozers." Walking over to her, he examined her face. Was it always locked in a pucker...?
"Wake up!" he growled, shaking her. The princess awoke with a startled gasp, then glared up at him.
"What?"
"Are you Princess Shannon?"
In her shock at the knight's unusual behavior, she had almost gotten mad at him. Recomposing herself, she smiled up at him. "I am... Awaiting a knight so bold as to rescue me!"
"Oh, well that's nice. Now let's go."
Wait- What? Just like that? Surely he was just joking... None of her story books said that the prince would be in a rush to go.
"B-but wait!" she cried, which stopped him for a moment or two. "Why go now? I don't even know your name!"
Squidward growled in frustration. "Squidward."
Ah, NOW things were beginning to go right! "Sir Squidward," she sighed dreamily, taking the hankerchief off of her wrist. "Sir Squidward, I pray that you take this favor as a token of my graditude."
Squidward took it without a moment's hesitation, wipped his neck, then threw it backwards into the princess' face as he looked around. "Thanks, now where's the exit?"
Well, so much for romantic scene. Sighing in dissapointment, Shannon peeled the dirty hankerchief off of her face and tucked it back onto her wrist, just in case he decided he wanted it later. "Don't you have a rope?" Based on the look of confussion on his face, she assumed not. She knew she should've grown her hair out... "Well, then, we'll just have to go back the way you came."
Squidward's mouth hung open for a moment, then he started stuttering in proteset as he looked at her, at the stairs, then back again. "I-I-but I just- I-It's a-I-Just a-we-I-Oh, come on!" He collapsed onto the ground at the thought of having to go back down the 8,284 or however many stairs with a priss in tow.
Shannon's lifelong hopes were nearly crushed when she saw how doubtful her prince was. But maybe he was a new knight... If he had managed to get this far, then he had to be her true love. She just had to help him get into the mood!
"Now holdest on, sir Squidward," Shannon pleaded, grabbing his arm and helping him up. "Don't you want to savor this moment? This be-ith our first meeting." Placing the back of her hand on her forehead and tilting her head back, she let out a dreamy sigh. "It must be a wonderful and romantic scene..." A giggle escaped her lips as she began twirling around in circles.
Not again... Squidward groaned at the thought of another song. What was he, a crackpot magnet?
"This is how a dream comes true, this is how I pictured you," she sang dreamily, blinking her eyelashes at Squidward. "Climbing in to rescue me, this was always meant to be."
It was official- Squidward was a crack pot magnet.
"That's very lovely, now let's-"
"This is how the scene must go, you standing..." Shannon observed the spot Squidward was standing in, then grabbed his shoulders and relocated him to a spot under the light of the window. "...There, the light just so." She smiled, closed her eyes, and held her hand out to him. "Then you smile and gaze at me, take my hand on bended knee."
Squidward just stood there, dumb-founded. What in Neptune's name was this mermaid doing? Seeing that he was still standing straight, Shannon cleared her throat and repeated: "Bended knee." But her rescuer was still stiff as a piece of coral. Getting impatient, she grabbed his shoulders again and, slamming him to the ground, repeated, "Bended knee!"
A loud CRACK was heard, and Squidward let out an "Ow!"
Shannon blushed. "Sorry." She quickly closed her eyes again, let a smile stretch across her face again, and held her hand back out. "And though we've only met, somehow I always knew it would look like this... When dreams come true..."
As if an answer to his prayers, Squidward heard a loud cry cutting into her song. "SQUIDWAAAAAAAAAAARD!" He sighed, silently thanking Neptune, then grabbed Shannon's hand and ran back down the long, twisty flight of stairs. And somehow, he had gotten his energy back. Maybe since it was easier to run down a flight of stairs than up.
"Brave sir knight, slow down a bit," Shannon sang, struggling to keep up with him, waving her tail as furiously as she could. "Shut-in girls are delicate! I've longed for this my whole life long, now you're doing it all wrong!"
"Oh, yeah? How so?" Just for her, Squidward ran even faster.
She stumbled, then caught her breath and swam as fast as she could. "Down a rope a steed awaits, that's what every story states! Riding over rough terrain, past the dragon you have slay-en." Squidward stopped in his tracks, sending her another confused look. Maybe he hadn't heard her... "You have slay-en." When he still didn't say anything, she repeated caustiously, "You have slay-en...?"
"Oh, that. That's on my to-do list."
"WHAT?" While she was exclaiming, Squidward grabbed her hand again and ran toward Spongebob's voice, which was still calling out his name. Eventually, he managed to find his companion, who was in the clutches of the dragon, who had a rather odd resembalance to a land squirrel.
"Listen," Spongebob was saying, "I mean, you're pretty and I like you and all, but... I just don't think I'm ready for this... Type of relationship... Does this castle have an adress? You could give me the address and I could write to you... N-n-no! I can't! I'm sorry! I just can't! Please listen to me...!"
What had that thing gotten himself into now...? Squidward didn't have much time to ponder that, though. He was running on a burst of energy that was sure to die out soon.
"Spongebob! This way!"
Spongebob looked toward Squidward at the same time the dragon-squirrel dropped him. Rubbing his slightly injured arm, Spongebob quickly recovered enough to scurry toward the group. The dragon-squirrel (she has a name, in case you were wondering- Sandy) watched first in shock than in anger as the three ran away. These people... They were kidnapping her true love! Letting out a roar of rage, she began to charge after them.
Meanwhile, Squidward, Shannon, and Spongebob were high-tailing it for the exit. Spongebob turned his head and examined Shannon with a grin. "Hey, Squidward, I see you found the princess! Hi, princess!"
Shannon stopped swimming for a moment and gasped. "It talks..."
"Yeah, but try getting him to shut up. That's the trick." They heard a roar behind them, and they all picked up the pace.
Well, Shannon had met her prince, his steed, and now they were running from the dragon-squirrel when it was supposed to be dead. What an interesting day this had been!
"Are you there, Neptune?" she sang to the ceiling. "It's me, Shannon..."
"Less praying," Squidward panted, "more running!"
Oh yeah, she had almost forgotten that she was being rescued! She should enjoy this! Giggling again, Shannon ran along with them, but with a skip in her swim. "Tralalalala..."
"This way instead!" Squidward shouted at the sight of another bone-filled room.
"Tralalalala..."
"Door ahead!"
Door ahead! At long last, she was saved! "In the end, remember, all your dreams come !" Her joyous melody had turned into a scream as the dragon-squirrel came into view, storming at them angrily. Squidward ran ahead, then flung Spongebob and Shannon toward the door.
"Get out," he gasped, "I'll take care of the dragon."
Spongebob's hoof found Shannon's hand and he ran out the gate with her as she sang in a loud voice, off-pitch with fear. "Say your affirmations and love will come to you, if you can concieve it, believe it, achive it!"
Spongebob gasped as they came upon the bridge. Not again...! He could feel the heat radiating toward his face. There was no guarantee that he would make it across alive, now that Squidward was behind them... But then he looked up at the princess and noticed her terrified expression. She was humming nervously, sweating as she looked ahead.
Spongebob turned again and looked at the rickety bridge. Now wasn't the time for fear to get in the way! He had to get the princess to safety, even if it meant his own life! With one last deep breath, he let out a loud yell and charged forward, flashes of red, orange, and yellow flying up around him...
Squidward looked around, searching for something to trap the dragon-squirrel. There wasn't anything in sight, not that he could see, anyway... Well, that kinda defeated the purpose, didn't it? And then he saw it. A lever. He wasn't quite sure what it would do, but he could sure find out!
Wrapping his tentacle around it, he looked over his shoulder as the dragon-squirrel came closer... And closer... And closer... And just as it got within feet of him, he pulled the lever and dove under the gate...
"Pink ponies, happy sky, pink ponies, happy sky," Shannon sang in a slightly (okay, extremely) nervous whine as she followed Spongebob across the bridge, squeazing her eyes shut (unaware that Spongebob was doing just the same). "Pink ponies, happy sky, oh my God, we're gonna die, pink ponies, happy sky, OH MY GOD WE'RE GONNA DIIIIIIIIIIIIIE!"
And neither of them were very sure how it happened, but they were suddenly on solid ground again.
When Shannon opened her eyes, she saw that Spongebob was on the ground, panting and shaking. She smiled a bit to herself. Not a white, majestic seahorse as her storybooks had indicated, but a noble steed, nonetheless.
"Well, I think that did it!"
Shannon jumped as she saw Squidward running up to them just as the bridge collapsed behind him. And when she looked further back, she saw the dragon-squirrel trapped behing the castle gates, roaring in anger, then in sadness.
It was just as her stories had foretold... And to think she had almost given up on them!
"This is how I pictured it..." She looked back over at the two heros, both collapsed on the ground now. "...More or less, I must admit... A thumping in my heart... A life about to start..." A smile spread across her face once more. "I knew this day would come, and you would find your way! At last, my dream comes true!" Pumping her fists into the air, she shouted, "I knew, I knew, I KNEW it would be today!"
Once the other two had gathered their wits back, Shannon gushed over to them, hands clasped over her heart. "Oh, you've done it, you've rescued me! You're amazing, you're wonderful, you're... A bit unorthidoxed, I'll admit..." She stood Squidward up and positioned his arms to where he was striking a 'masculine man' pose.
"B-but thy deed is great and thy heart is pure... I am eternally in your debt."
"I'm in enough debt as it is, I don't need more!" Squidward grummbled at the hoplessly confused princess as he put his arms back down by his side.
Obviously she didn't hear that part. "And, of course, where would a brave knight such as yourself be without his noble steed?"
Spongebob's ears perked up, then he smirked over at Squidward. "Hope you heard that, Squidward, she called me a noble steed! She thinks I'm a isteed/i!"
Squidward just rolled his eyes.
"The battle is won," Shannon sighed at Squidward. "You may remove your helmet."
"Um... No thanks, we should really get on the move."
"But... We haven't even had time to be alone! And... How will you kiss me?"
"W-what?" Squidward pulled the pamphlet out of his pocket and gave it a twice-over. "That wasn't in the pamphlet!"
"Maybe it's a perk?" Spongebob suggested.
"No," Shannon laughed, "It's destiny! Oh, you must surely know how it goes: A princess, locked away in a tower, is rescued by her true love..." A haze came over her eyes. "And then they share true love's first kiss..."
A stunned silence came over the boys before Spongebob piped up, "Wait, you think Squidward is your... True love?"
"Yes!"
And the next moment, the two were rolling on the ground, Spongebob clutching his stomach, Squidward banging on the ground.
"Listen," he chuckled, "Let's just say I'm not really your type, okay, princess?"
"Of course you are, you're my rescuer!" Shannon was starting to get annoyed with him now. "Now take off the helmet!"
"No."
"Take it off!"
"I said no, and if-"
"NOW!"
"Alright!" Squidward huffed and mimicked a bow. "As you wish, your highness... But I warned you."
He had warned her. But how was she to know it'd be as bad as, oh, say, the fact that her rescuer turned out to be an ogre-squid?
"Oh," Squidward laughed when he saw the bewildered expression on her face, "You were excpecting Prince Charming?"
"Well... Yes, actually..." She let out a loud groan of frustration and plopped down on the ground. "This isn't right! Y-you're not supposed to be an ogre!"
"Look," he started before giving her a chance to go into angst mode, "I'm not your 'true love' or whatever you call it. I was sent to rescue you by Lord Plankton."
"Then why, might I ask, didn't he come and rescue me himself?"
"Good question! Let's ask him when we get there."
"NO!" Both of the boys jumped at her fierce tone. "I need to be rescued by my true love. So you can tell this Lord Plankton guy that if he wants to rescue me, I'll be waiting for him right here!"
Ohh, the fiesty kind indeed. Only one way to get this spoiled princess to come along. Walking over to where she sat, Squidward grabbed her by her waist and swung her over his shoulder as she let out a cry of surprise. Really, he looked like he weighed almost as much as she did, maybe less, so the fact that he could do this shocked her for a minute. It was only a few seconds, though, before she started screaming her protests and banging her fists against his back.
"Coming, Spongebob?" Squidward went on ahead before he got an answer, and Spongebob looked at the princess in awe. No ordinary princess, alright, he thought with a chuckle as he followed behind.
__________________________________________________________
Chapter 9: Measuring Up
Shannon had finally given up on trying to escape. It was clear that Squidward refuesed to put her down for even a small drink ("There's lots of water under the ocean," he had said. "Just breath.") Besides, Spongebob had kept her company, and she was starting to enjoy him and answering his questions. And besides, at least she was outside. So THAT'S what a tree looked like...
"Okay, okay, here's another." Spongebob twiddled his hoofs as he spoke. "Say there's this girl, well, she really likes you, and she's pretty and all that, but you're just not ready to be in a relationship just yet... How do you tell her that without, say, getting burned to a crisp and eaten with a side of acorns?"
Shannon smiled in contentment at his slightly panicked expression. He WAS pretty cute. "Just tell her she's not your true love! Every knowest what happens when-" She was cut off as the ground suddenly rushed up to meet her back, nearly knocking all of the wind out of her.
"Yeesh, princess, you're heavier than I expected," Squidward groaned, rubbing his shoulders. "How much food did you have up in that tower with you, anyway?"
Growling, Shannon looked back over to Spongebob, who was glancing between the two nervously, then sighed. "The sooner we get to Bikini Bottom, the better."
"Oh, you're gonna love it there, princess!" Spongebob lied down on his back and smiled. "The water's never been so clean anywhere else!"
"Yes... And what of my groom-to-be, Lord Plankton? What's he like?" The name "Plankton" gave Shannon temporary images of a short, green fish, but she pushed these images aside with fantasies of a masculine hero-type in spandex. Ahh, spandex...
"Let me put it this way," Squidward started, giving the princess a smile. "Men of Plankton's stature are in... Short supply."
Shannon's mouth went agape. "Ahh, really?" She stared off into space dreamily.
"I dunno, Squidward," Spongebob chuckled, "there are those think little of him."
"Well, he IS a tiny bit intimidating!"
"Well he must be!" Shannon sighed dreamily again, until she noticed that the boys had started chuckling loudly. "What's so funny?"
Squidward held his tentacle over his mouth, then he moved it just long enough to speak. "I'm just saying... You might wanna lower your expectations a bit!"
"Yeah," Spongebob piped, "like, six feet or so!"
And with this, they were both on the ground laughing their heads off.
"Oh, shut up," Shannon scowled angrily, "you're just jealous that you two could never measure up to a great ruler like Lord Plankton!"
Squidward collected himself from the ground and fought back another chortle. "Sure, princess, we'll let you do the measuring when you meet him tomorrow."
Spongebob, joining him from the ground, laughed once more and added, "If you have a ruler, anyway!"
"Wait wait wait wait wait- Tomorrow?" Shannon looked over at the sun and saw it slowly ducking behind the sea floor. Panic fled through her body. "It'll take that long? Don't you think we should, oh, say, set up camp somewhere?"
"No, that'll only take longer. Now let's go, I know you're all prim and proper, but you haven't walked the entire time, so you can at least cover some ground tonight." Squidward turned on his heels with a sigh of frustration and walked on.
"But Sir- I mean, ogre-squid... Squoger?" Why hadn't anyone thought of combining the names of crossbreeds, anyway? It would make this so much easier... "W-whatever...! There's robbers in the woods, aren't there?"
"Woah, woah, WOAH, Squidward," Spongebob spoke, poking Squidward in the arm, eyes shifting around. "Y'know, camp's starting to sound like a good idea now that I think of it!"
"Please," Squidward sighed again, pointing to his clarinet (which he had kept in his back pocket). "I'm scarier than anything we'll come across-"
"FIND ME SOMEWHERE TO CAMP NOW!" Squidward jumped back in surprise when he saw Shannon's furious face pressed so closely to his. Pausing for a shocked moment, he shared a bewildered look with Spongebob, then looked back at the princess.
"...Fine."
"Squidward," Spongebob scolded, looking into the sea cave that Squidward had suggested, "we can do better than that! This is a princess, not a juvenile criminal!"
"N-n-no, it's perfect," Shannon stuttered anxiously as the sky began to darken. "It could just use a few touches..." She looked around, then found a sheet of shale rock, picked it up, and covered the enterance of it as she swam into the cave. "Well, gentlemen, I bid thee goodnight."
"Hey, princess, you want me to read you a bedtime story?" Spongebob asked, innocence practically radiating off of his face. "I mean that cave's all dark and spooky and I can tell you about-"
"I said goodnight!"
Spongebob backed up from the entrance, slightly hurt at her lash back. All he wanted to do was make sure she was comfortable... At least he wasn't swinging her around like some old rag doll like Squidward had been doing. He didn't give himself much more time to ponder this, and instead walked over to a patch of kelp and laid down for a while.
Squidward was an interesting companion. He could see the stars in a whole 'nother way that Spongebob hadn't thought about before.
"And that's the oboe," Squidward explained, pointing to another group of bright white dots. "Often used to tune entire orchestras, but of course not as great as the clarinet."
"Okay, now I KNOW you're making this up!"
"No, really, see? There's the outline, and there's its double reeds."
"All I see is a bunch of little dots."
"You know, some things are more than meets the eye, Spongebob." Spongebob didn't respond, so Squidward just sighed and rolled over on his side.
"Hey, Squidward?" Spongebob finally asked after a few minutes in silence. "What are we gonna do when we get back to our reef?"
Squidward sat up with a start. "Our reef?"
"Yeah, you know, after we bring the princess back to Plankton."
"Spongebob, there's no our, there's no we! There's just me and my reef. And the first thing I'm going to do when I get back is put up a ten-foot fence around my land."
Spongebob's ears drooped sadly. "You cut me deep, Squidward. You cut me real deep just now." Another few minutes of silence followed before Spongebob spoke again: "Y'know, I think this whole 'fence' thing is just a cleverly unclever way to keep someone out."
"Nooooooooooo, you think?"
"Alright, now I see what's going on!"
Squidward groaned. "Spongebob, just leave me alone."
"I'll leave you alone as soon as you quit blocking!"
"I'm not blocking!"
"Yes, I think you are blocking!"
"Shut up, Spongebob!"
"Just tell me who you're trying to keep out, Squidward, tell me that much."
"Everyone, okay?" Squidward shouted angrily, jumping to his feet. "You stupid arrogant little-! I want to keep everyone out!"
"Oh, now we're getting somewhere!" Spongebob rolled his eyes and huffed. "What's your problem? What do you have against the world, Squidward? Hmm?"
"Look, I don't have anything against the world, okay? It's the world who's against me! They take one look at me and scream, 'GAH! HELP! A big, stupid ugly ogre!' Of all the types of ogres in the world, squid-ogres are the least aggressive, and yet we're thrown right in the rank of big and stupid, just because we're so ugly! THAT'S my problem!" Squidward caught his breath, the realization of how much he just revealed to Spongebob setting in. For some reason, though, it felt kinda good to get off his chest...
"And..." Squiddy huched over, shaking his head sadly. "...That's why I'm better off alone."
He just sat there in silence for a few minutes, then he felt a presence next to him, but didn't dare to look up anyway. Both of them sat quietly for a while, a quite which Spongebob finally broke after a few seconds:
"You know, Squidward, when I met you, that day you scared off the guards... I didn't think you were just a big, stupid, ugly ogre." When Squidward refused to reply, he added, "I never have thought that."
After another moment, with a sigh of defeat, Squidward shrugged. "Yeah, I know."
"...Sooooooooooooo... Are there any sponges up in the stars? Or... Donkey-sponges?"
"Um... Yeah... There's... Well, there's... There's Kaila, the small... And... Annoying."
"Oh, okay, I think I see it now... That big shinny one, that one right there, Squidward, is that it?"
"That's the moon."
"Oh... Okay."
_________________________________________________________
Chapter 10: I KNOW I Got You Beat
Squidward awoke the next morning to the sound of singing and Spongebob moaning suggestively in his sleep.
The first thing he heard was a voice that sounded all too familiar... At first he couldn't remember where he was, but then he recalled yesterday's events (and that oh-so-obnoxious song...) and realized who the voice belonged to.
...Shannon? What was she doing up singing so early? What had happened to that pessimistic mermaid he had come to know last night?
"Mmmmmm... Oh, yeah, baby, you know that's how I like it... Mmm..." Squidward turned and saw Spongebob stirring a bit in his sleep, and he couldn't help but crack a grin before confusion set in.
Wait... Shannon was singing... So she was in a good mood...? So early? Overnight? Just like that?
"Spongebob!" He hissed. "Spongebob, wake up!"
Spongebob's eyes slowly cracked open, and he looked up at Squidward with a tired, sheepish grin on his face. "Oh, mornin', Squidy. Up so early?"
"Listen!" Spongebob listened to the singing for a moment, propped up on his elbows, then yawned and rubbed his eyes. "Oh, that's just the princess."
"But... Why is she singing?"
"Squidward, I think we've both established that she likes singing."
"But not when she's in a bad mood! She didn't sing at all yesterday for most of the trip!"
"And...?" Spongebob rolled back over on his side and closed his eyes again, desperate to go back into whatever apparently sweet dream he had been having.
"Morning, boys!"
That woke him up. "Why, good morning, princess!" Spongebob chirped as he sat straight up and smiled his sweetest smile up at her. Squidward just gave her a confused look.
"What's got you up so early?"
Shannon had her hands behind her back, smiling gently at them as she spoke. "It's just, well... We got off to such a bad start yesterday. I shouldn't have reacted like I did. That was foolish of me. So I wanted to make it up to you two... After all, you did rescue me! So..." She took her hands out from behind her back and revealed two flowery necklaces. "I made all of us daisy chains!"
Spongebob was happy to oblige, actually getting down on one knee in front of her as if being knighted as she placed the necklace over his head. Squidward, however, winced at the frilly accessory and whipped it off the minute she wasn't looking.
"Now," Shannon piped, swiming ahead with excitement, "let's get this day started right!"
Squidward and Spongebob shared a confused look for the umph-teenth time that week before following after her.
Squidward wasn't quite sure what was worse: A resistant Shannon or a happy-go-lucky Shannon. As they traveled, she would randomly start twirling or stop to sing with the scallops (one which she accidentally blew up when she hit a high note- Well, if there was one thing Squidward learned that day, it was that that really was possible after all). By late morning, however, she started getting a little bit easier to bear. Of course, all it took was a song...
"No matter," she said shortly after the scallop had blown up and she got some mud on her dress, "it's a beautiful day and after a lifetime of misery, things are finally going my way."
She twirled on ahead until chuckling stopped her. When she turned, Spongebob's eyes went wide and he pointed at Squidward immediately.
"Gee, thanks," Squidward breathed sarcastically under his breath.
"...Why did you chuckle?" Shannon asked meekly.
"Huh? What do you mean 'why did I'?"
"I mentioned a lifetime of misery and... Well... You chuckled."
"Of course I chuckled!" Squidward chuckled again just to agitate her. "A lifetime of misery? Sure, you're funny, princess!"
Shannon scowled and put her hands on her hips. "You saw how small that room was!"
"You had everything you needed to survive!"
"But survival started to get pretty dull after a while!" She shook her head in detestment. "Sir Squidward, there are things you don't know about me. You know, about how rough I had it."
"...You know, you're right. I'm sorry," Squidward said straight-faced, sending her a look of pity. "It must've been so hard on you when you ran out of shampoo."
Shannon practically seethed, and Spongebob took a step back, fear etched into his face."
"That little cozy tower of yours," Squidward mocked, "SURELY served as a lifetime of misery!"
"Cozy? Are you KIDDING?" Shannon took a deep breath to regain her composure after her little outburst, straightening up, concealing her anger behind a blank face. "I had nothing in that tower," she sang in a made-up tune, "fighting boredom by the hour! Princess lonely, walking circles, I had only..." Squidward rolled her eyes as Shannon ticked items off on her fingers. "Bare essetnials: Army cot, a hot plate and a chamber pot, and every morning I would boil it; no choice, I had no toilet!"
She looked off into the trees as the memory of that one window rushed back into her head, and she shivered. "Just a view of devastation out one window, isolation in my bedroom, and very little headroom! Twenty years I sat and waited- I'm very dedicated- On the walls the days were added, luckily those walls were padded!"
Squidward had to force back another laugh as she tossed her head dramatically. "Soooooooo, I think I got you beat, I think I got you beat! Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think I got you beat, I think I got you beat!" She tossed a Z-snap in Squidward's direction before turning around and swimming forward.
But this battle was farfrom over. "Pfft! I've heard better, I'm just saying," Squidward shot back. "'A' for effort, thanks for playing! Sad to see a princess suffer..." Shannon had stopped now and turned to face him, faux interest sketched onto her face, so Squdward continued. "BUT I had it rougher."
Shannon scoffed again and glared up at him. "Like that time a mob with torches burned my britches, see the scorches?" Shannon shielded her eyes as Squidward lifted up his shirttail and stuck his hip out at her. "You can look now." Shannon uncovered her eyes, cheeks flushed. Ah, innocence... "You're just whiney; I had a flaming hiney! As I fled I had to wonder, if I were torn asunder... Would an ogre go to Heaven? And, oh yeah- Did I mention I was seven?" Shannon was the one to roll her eyes this time. "Soooooo, I think I got you beat, I think I got you beat! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I think I got you beat, I think I got you beat!" He attempted (rather poorly) to throw back her Z-snap from earlier, then laughed as he took the lead on the trail.
"Pfft!" Shannon growled and swam in front of him. No giving up now! "No warm regards..."
Squidward shrugged it off. "No Christmas cards..."
"And every day-"
"Was hell on earth day, yeah, yeah, I know!"
Shannon tossed back her braided hair in frustration. "Okay, top this! I missed my prom!"
"Missed your prom?" Squidward snorted. What kind of a great misery was that? "My dad and mom sent me away..." He leaned in slyly and added in a hushed whisper, as if he actually didn't want anyone else to hear: "It was my birthday!"
For a moment, Squidward was sure he had the longer end of the stick, because Shannon just stared up at him dumbfounded, mouth agape, a saddened expression in her eyes. Then, right as he was about to laugh and rub it in her face, she leaned forward even more, to where their noses were touching, and whispered: "I was sent away on Christmas Eve."
It was Squidward's turn to stare dumbfounded at her, then when he came back to his senses, he growled angrily, and she shot out a short laugh.
At that time Spongebob decided to rejoin the party, and he stepped between the two before they could start getting into any... Physical fighting of the sorts. But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't get them to stop yelling at each other about their terrible pasts.
"Guys, guys!" He even pled with them. "We shouldn't reflect on the history that tore us apart, but embrace that which brings us together!" Of course, they ignored him.
"Oh waaaaah, I missed my prom!" Squidward mocked in a high-pitched tone as Shannon kept repeating the list of the "few" things she had in her tower.
Shannon gripped her fists tightly together to refrain from knocking him in the face and swam forward at full speed, stopping abruptly and snapping at the same time as Squidward: "My dad an mom sent me away!"
They just stood (or floated, for her case) there for a few more moments, finally having run out of things to say, fuming at each other. Neither of them were quite sure just what happened after that... It was as if their last fighting words had finally sunk in, and suddenly, instead of glaring, the looks in their eyes changed to... Wonder? Admiration? Well, whatever it was, it was certainly... Different.
"So..." Shannon started back up quietly.
"...Sooooo..."
After another pause, they sang softly together. "I think I got you beat, I think I got you beat..."
"Yeah..."
"Yeah..."
"Yeah..."
"Yeah..."
"Yeah..."
"Yeah..."
"Yeah..."
"I think I got you beat, I think I got you beat..." A smile stretched across both of their faces, and they picked up the excitment.
"Yeah!"
"Yeah!"
"Yeah!"
"Yeah!"
"Yeah!"
"Yeah!"
"Yeah!"
By this point, they were practically bouncing where they stood. Whatever the anger from that little fight had gone, it had gone far, far away.
"I think I got you beat, I think I got you beat! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah-"
They were abruptly cut off by a loud shriek of laughter, and when they looked over, Spongebob was collapsed on the ground, clutching his stomach, red in the cheeks.
Squidward sighed and glared at him. "What now?"
Spongebob looked up at him, tears in his eyes, and choked, "Oh... Well, I know this is kinda unfitting for the moment, but... I finally got that 'compensating' joke!"
Shannon stared out her window as she did every day. This was really beginning to get old... She didn't have much else to do now other than sing "I know it's today, ooooohhh, I know it's today, oooooohhh," over and over again. Sometimes she wondered why she didn't just jump out of that window...
"Hello? I-*pant*is anyone up there?"
Shannon froze in place. Could it be...? Placing her ear against the locked door leading to the mocking flight of stairs she had tried so many times to reach, she listend, and there it was again.
"Oh, Neptune... I should've worn my cup...!"
It was! It was! Her parents had been right! Her prince! He was here! As quickly as she could, she gathered all of her things together in a neat pile, placed a hankerchief on her wrist, grabbed the bouquet of fake flowers, and, as she lay herself down on her cot, said a shor farwell to her dolls and books. She heared a lock turning, and with one last look out the window, she clossed her eyes and lay her head back.
o0o
Finally, after 8,492 steps, Squidward was at the door. Wait- There was a door? Why didn't this princess just rescue herself? Probably too weak to get the door unlocked, he thought with a chuckle as he pulled it open and stepped inside.
There she was, alright. Lilac skin, bright purple tail, green-and-gold gown, bouquet of flowers, and there was the window the pamphlet showed her looking out of, too.
"Great," he muttered under his breath, "I got one of the snoozers." Walking over to her, he examined her face. Was it always locked in a pucker...?
"Wake up!" he growled, shaking her. The princess awoke with a startled gasp, then glared up at him.
"What?"
"Are you Princess Shannon?"
In her shock at the knight's unusual behavior, she had almost gotten mad at him. Recomposing herself, she smiled up at him. "I am... Awaiting a knight so bold as to rescue me!"
"Oh, well that's nice. Now let's go."
Wait- What? Just like that? Surely he was just joking... None of her story books said that the prince would be in a rush to go.
"B-but wait!" she cried, which stopped him for a moment or two. "Why go now? I don't even know your name!"
Squidward growled in frustration. "Squidward."
Ah, NOW things were beginning to go right! "Sir Squidward," she sighed dreamily, taking the hankerchief off of her wrist. "Sir Squidward, I pray that you take this favor as a token of my graditude."
Squidward took it without a moment's hesitation, wipped his neck, then threw it backwards into the princess' face as he looked around. "Thanks, now where's the exit?"
Well, so much for romantic scene. Sighing in dissapointment, Shannon peeled the dirty hankerchief off of her face and tucked it back onto her wrist, just in case he decided he wanted it later. "Don't you have a rope?" Based on the look of confussion on his face, she assumed not. She knew she should've grown her hair out... "Well, then, we'll just have to go back the way you came."
Squidward's mouth hung open for a moment, then he started stuttering in proteset as he looked at her, at the stairs, then back again. "I-I-but I just- I-It's a-I-Just a-we-I-Oh, come on!" He collapsed onto the ground at the thought of having to go back down the 8,284 or however many stairs with a priss in tow.
Shannon's lifelong hopes were nearly crushed when she saw how doubtful her prince was. But maybe he was a new knight... If he had managed to get this far, then he had to be her true love. She just had to help him get into the mood!
"Now holdest on, sir Squidward," Shannon pleaded, grabbing his arm and helping him up. "Don't you want to savor this moment? This be-ith our first meeting." Placing the back of her hand on her forehead and tilting her head back, she let out a dreamy sigh. "It must be a wonderful and romantic scene..." A giggle escaped her lips as she began twirling around in circles.
Not again... Squidward groaned at the thought of another song. What was he, a crackpot magnet?
"This is how a dream comes true, this is how I pictured you," she sang dreamily, blinking her eyelashes at Squidward. "Climbing in to rescue me, this was always meant to be."
It was official- Squidward was a crack pot magnet.
"That's very lovely, now let's-"
"This is how the scene must go, you standing..." Shannon observed the spot Squidward was standing in, then grabbed his shoulders and relocated him to a spot under the light of the window. "...There, the light just so." She smiled, closed her eyes, and held her hand out to him. "Then you smile and gaze at me, take my hand on bended knee."
Squidward just stood there, dumb-founded. What in Neptune's name was this mermaid doing? Seeing that he was still standing straight, Shannon cleared her throat and repeated: "Bended knee." But her rescuer was still stiff as a piece of coral. Getting impatient, she grabbed his shoulders again and, slamming him to the ground, repeated, "Bended knee!"
A loud CRACK was heard, and Squidward let out an "Ow!"
Shannon blushed. "Sorry." She quickly closed her eyes again, let a smile stretch across her face again, and held her hand back out. "And though we've only met, somehow I always knew it would look like this... When dreams come true..."
As if an answer to his prayers, Squidward heard a loud cry cutting into her song. "SQUIDWAAAAAAAAAAARD!" He sighed, silently thanking Neptune, then grabbed Shannon's hand and ran back down the long, twisty flight of stairs. And somehow, he had gotten his energy back. Maybe since it was easier to run down a flight of stairs than up.
"Brave sir knight, slow down a bit," Shannon sang, struggling to keep up with him, waving her tail as furiously as she could. "Shut-in girls are delicate! I've longed for this my whole life long, now you're doing it all wrong!"
"Oh, yeah? How so?" Just for her, Squidward ran even faster.
She stumbled, then caught her breath and swam as fast as she could. "Down a rope a steed awaits, that's what every story states! Riding over rough terrain, past the dragon you have slay-en." Squidward stopped in his tracks, sending her another confused look. Maybe he hadn't heard her... "You have slay-en." When he still didn't say anything, she repeated caustiously, "You have slay-en...?"
"Oh, that. That's on my to-do list."
"WHAT?" While she was exclaiming, Squidward grabbed her hand again and ran toward Spongebob's voice, which was still calling out his name. Eventually, he managed to find his companion, who was in the clutches of the dragon, who had a rather odd resembalance to a land squirrel.
"Listen," Spongebob was saying, "I mean, you're pretty and I like you and all, but... I just don't think I'm ready for this... Type of relationship... Does this castle have an adress? You could give me the address and I could write to you... N-n-no! I can't! I'm sorry! I just can't! Please listen to me...!"
What had that thing gotten himself into now...? Squidward didn't have much time to ponder that, though. He was running on a burst of energy that was sure to die out soon.
"Spongebob! This way!"
Spongebob looked toward Squidward at the same time the dragon-squirrel dropped him. Rubbing his slightly injured arm, Spongebob quickly recovered enough to scurry toward the group. The dragon-squirrel (she has a name, in case you were wondering- Sandy) watched first in shock than in anger as the three ran away. These people... They were kidnapping her true love! Letting out a roar of rage, she began to charge after them.
Meanwhile, Squidward, Shannon, and Spongebob were high-tailing it for the exit. Spongebob turned his head and examined Shannon with a grin. "Hey, Squidward, I see you found the princess! Hi, princess!"
Shannon stopped swimming for a moment and gasped. "It talks..."
"Yeah, but try getting him to shut up. That's the trick." They heard a roar behind them, and they all picked up the pace.
Well, Shannon had met her prince, his steed, and now they were running from the dragon-squirrel when it was supposed to be dead. What an interesting day this had been!
"Are you there, Neptune?" she sang to the ceiling. "It's me, Shannon..."
"Less praying," Squidward panted, "more running!"
Oh yeah, she had almost forgotten that she was being rescued! She should enjoy this! Giggling again, Shannon ran along with them, but with a skip in her swim. "Tralalalala..."
"This way instead!" Squidward shouted at the sight of another bone-filled room.
"Tralalalala..."
"Door ahead!"
Door ahead! At long last, she was saved! "In the end, remember, all your dreams come !" Her joyous melody had turned into a scream as the dragon-squirrel came into view, storming at them angrily. Squidward ran ahead, then flung Spongebob and Shannon toward the door.
"Get out," he gasped, "I'll take care of the dragon."
Spongebob's hoof found Shannon's hand and he ran out the gate with her as she sang in a loud voice, off-pitch with fear. "Say your affirmations and love will come to you, if you can concieve it, believe it, achive it!"
Spongebob gasped as they came upon the bridge. Not again...! He could feel the heat radiating toward his face. There was no guarantee that he would make it across alive, now that Squidward was behind them... But then he looked up at the princess and noticed her terrified expression. She was humming nervously, sweating as she looked ahead.
Spongebob turned again and looked at the rickety bridge. Now wasn't the time for fear to get in the way! He had to get the princess to safety, even if it meant his own life! With one last deep breath, he let out a loud yell and charged forward, flashes of red, orange, and yellow flying up around him...
Squidward looked around, searching for something to trap the dragon-squirrel. There wasn't anything in sight, not that he could see, anyway... Well, that kinda defeated the purpose, didn't it? And then he saw it. A lever. He wasn't quite sure what it would do, but he could sure find out!
Wrapping his tentacle around it, he looked over his shoulder as the dragon-squirrel came closer... And closer... And closer... And just as it got within feet of him, he pulled the lever and dove under the gate...
"Pink ponies, happy sky, pink ponies, happy sky," Shannon sang in a slightly (okay, extremely) nervous whine as she followed Spongebob across the bridge, squeazing her eyes shut (unaware that Spongebob was doing just the same). "Pink ponies, happy sky, oh my God, we're gonna die, pink ponies, happy sky, OH MY GOD WE'RE GONNA DIIIIIIIIIIIIIE!"
And neither of them were very sure how it happened, but they were suddenly on solid ground again.
When Shannon opened her eyes, she saw that Spongebob was on the ground, panting and shaking. She smiled a bit to herself. Not a white, majestic seahorse as her storybooks had indicated, but a noble steed, nonetheless.
"Well, I think that did it!"
Shannon jumped as she saw Squidward running up to them just as the bridge collapsed behind him. And when she looked further back, she saw the dragon-squirrel trapped behing the castle gates, roaring in anger, then in sadness.
It was just as her stories had foretold... And to think she had almost given up on them!
"This is how I pictured it..." She looked back over at the two heros, both collapsed on the ground now. "...More or less, I must admit... A thumping in my heart... A life about to start..." A smile spread across her face once more. "I knew this day would come, and you would find your way! At last, my dream comes true!" Pumping her fists into the air, she shouted, "I knew, I knew, I KNEW it would be today!"
Once the other two had gathered their wits back, Shannon gushed over to them, hands clasped over her heart. "Oh, you've done it, you've rescued me! You're amazing, you're wonderful, you're... A bit unorthidoxed, I'll admit..." She stood Squidward up and positioned his arms to where he was striking a 'masculine man' pose.
"B-but thy deed is great and thy heart is pure... I am eternally in your debt."
"I'm in enough debt as it is, I don't need more!" Squidward grummbled at the hoplessly confused princess as he put his arms back down by his side.
Obviously she didn't hear that part. "And, of course, where would a brave knight such as yourself be without his noble steed?"
Spongebob's ears perked up, then he smirked over at Squidward. "Hope you heard that, Squidward, she called me a noble steed! She thinks I'm a isteed/i!"
Squidward just rolled his eyes.
"The battle is won," Shannon sighed at Squidward. "You may remove your helmet."
"Um... No thanks, we should really get on the move."
"But... We haven't even had time to be alone! And... How will you kiss me?"
"W-what?" Squidward pulled the pamphlet out of his pocket and gave it a twice-over. "That wasn't in the pamphlet!"
"Maybe it's a perk?" Spongebob suggested.
"No," Shannon laughed, "It's destiny! Oh, you must surely know how it goes: A princess, locked away in a tower, is rescued by her true love..." A haze came over her eyes. "And then they share true love's first kiss..."
A stunned silence came over the boys before Spongebob piped up, "Wait, you think Squidward is your... True love?"
"Yes!"
And the next moment, the two were rolling on the ground, Spongebob clutching his stomach, Squidward banging on the ground.
"Listen," he chuckled, "Let's just say I'm not really your type, okay, princess?"
"Of course you are, you're my rescuer!" Shannon was starting to get annoyed with him now. "Now take off the helmet!"
"No."
"Take it off!"
"I said no, and if-"
"NOW!"
"Alright!" Squidward huffed and mimicked a bow. "As you wish, your highness... But I warned you."
He had warned her. But how was she to know it'd be as bad as, oh, say, the fact that her rescuer turned out to be an ogre-squid?
"Oh," Squidward laughed when he saw the bewildered expression on her face, "You were excpecting Prince Charming?"
"Well... Yes, actually..." She let out a loud groan of frustration and plopped down on the ground. "This isn't right! Y-you're not supposed to be an ogre!"
"Look," he started before giving her a chance to go into angst mode, "I'm not your 'true love' or whatever you call it. I was sent to rescue you by Lord Plankton."
"Then why, might I ask, didn't he come and rescue me himself?"
"Good question! Let's ask him when we get there."
"NO!" Both of the boys jumped at her fierce tone. "I need to be rescued by my true love. So you can tell this Lord Plankton guy that if he wants to rescue me, I'll be waiting for him right here!"
Ohh, the fiesty kind indeed. Only one way to get this spoiled princess to come along. Walking over to where she sat, Squidward grabbed her by her waist and swung her over his shoulder as she let out a cry of surprise. Really, he looked like he weighed almost as much as she did, maybe less, so the fact that he could do this shocked her for a minute. It was only a few seconds, though, before she started screaming her protests and banging her fists against his back.
"Coming, Spongebob?" Squidward went on ahead before he got an answer, and Spongebob looked at the princess in awe. No ordinary princess, alright, he thought with a chuckle as he followed behind.
__________________________________________________________
Chapter 9: Measuring Up
Shannon had finally given up on trying to escape. It was clear that Squidward refuesed to put her down for even a small drink ("There's lots of water under the ocean," he had said. "Just breath.") Besides, Spongebob had kept her company, and she was starting to enjoy him and answering his questions. And besides, at least she was outside. So THAT'S what a tree looked like...
"Okay, okay, here's another." Spongebob twiddled his hoofs as he spoke. "Say there's this girl, well, she really likes you, and she's pretty and all that, but you're just not ready to be in a relationship just yet... How do you tell her that without, say, getting burned to a crisp and eaten with a side of acorns?"
Shannon smiled in contentment at his slightly panicked expression. He WAS pretty cute. "Just tell her she's not your true love! Every knowest what happens when-" She was cut off as the ground suddenly rushed up to meet her back, nearly knocking all of the wind out of her.
"Yeesh, princess, you're heavier than I expected," Squidward groaned, rubbing his shoulders. "How much food did you have up in that tower with you, anyway?"
Growling, Shannon looked back over to Spongebob, who was glancing between the two nervously, then sighed. "The sooner we get to Bikini Bottom, the better."
"Oh, you're gonna love it there, princess!" Spongebob lied down on his back and smiled. "The water's never been so clean anywhere else!"
"Yes... And what of my groom-to-be, Lord Plankton? What's he like?" The name "Plankton" gave Shannon temporary images of a short, green fish, but she pushed these images aside with fantasies of a masculine hero-type in spandex. Ahh, spandex...
"Let me put it this way," Squidward started, giving the princess a smile. "Men of Plankton's stature are in... Short supply."
Shannon's mouth went agape. "Ahh, really?" She stared off into space dreamily.
"I dunno, Squidward," Spongebob chuckled, "there are those think little of him."
"Well, he IS a tiny bit intimidating!"
"Well he must be!" Shannon sighed dreamily again, until she noticed that the boys had started chuckling loudly. "What's so funny?"
Squidward held his tentacle over his mouth, then he moved it just long enough to speak. "I'm just saying... You might wanna lower your expectations a bit!"
"Yeah," Spongebob piped, "like, six feet or so!"
And with this, they were both on the ground laughing their heads off.
"Oh, shut up," Shannon scowled angrily, "you're just jealous that you two could never measure up to a great ruler like Lord Plankton!"
Squidward collected himself from the ground and fought back another chortle. "Sure, princess, we'll let you do the measuring when you meet him tomorrow."
Spongebob, joining him from the ground, laughed once more and added, "If you have a ruler, anyway!"
"Wait wait wait wait wait- Tomorrow?" Shannon looked over at the sun and saw it slowly ducking behind the sea floor. Panic fled through her body. "It'll take that long? Don't you think we should, oh, say, set up camp somewhere?"
"No, that'll only take longer. Now let's go, I know you're all prim and proper, but you haven't walked the entire time, so you can at least cover some ground tonight." Squidward turned on his heels with a sigh of frustration and walked on.
"But Sir- I mean, ogre-squid... Squoger?" Why hadn't anyone thought of combining the names of crossbreeds, anyway? It would make this so much easier... "W-whatever...! There's robbers in the woods, aren't there?"
"Woah, woah, WOAH, Squidward," Spongebob spoke, poking Squidward in the arm, eyes shifting around. "Y'know, camp's starting to sound like a good idea now that I think of it!"
"Please," Squidward sighed again, pointing to his clarinet (which he had kept in his back pocket). "I'm scarier than anything we'll come across-"
"FIND ME SOMEWHERE TO CAMP NOW!" Squidward jumped back in surprise when he saw Shannon's furious face pressed so closely to his. Pausing for a shocked moment, he shared a bewildered look with Spongebob, then looked back at the princess.
"...Fine."
o0o
"Squidward," Spongebob scolded, looking into the sea cave that Squidward had suggested, "we can do better than that! This is a princess, not a juvenile criminal!"
"N-n-no, it's perfect," Shannon stuttered anxiously as the sky began to darken. "It could just use a few touches..." She looked around, then found a sheet of shale rock, picked it up, and covered the enterance of it as she swam into the cave. "Well, gentlemen, I bid thee goodnight."
"Hey, princess, you want me to read you a bedtime story?" Spongebob asked, innocence practically radiating off of his face. "I mean that cave's all dark and spooky and I can tell you about-"
"I said goodnight!"
Spongebob backed up from the entrance, slightly hurt at her lash back. All he wanted to do was make sure she was comfortable... At least he wasn't swinging her around like some old rag doll like Squidward had been doing. He didn't give himself much more time to ponder this, and instead walked over to a patch of kelp and laid down for a while.
o0o
Squidward was an interesting companion. He could see the stars in a whole 'nother way that Spongebob hadn't thought about before.
"And that's the oboe," Squidward explained, pointing to another group of bright white dots. "Often used to tune entire orchestras, but of course not as great as the clarinet."
"Okay, now I KNOW you're making this up!"
"No, really, see? There's the outline, and there's its double reeds."
"All I see is a bunch of little dots."
"You know, some things are more than meets the eye, Spongebob." Spongebob didn't respond, so Squidward just sighed and rolled over on his side.
"Hey, Squidward?" Spongebob finally asked after a few minutes in silence. "What are we gonna do when we get back to our reef?"
Squidward sat up with a start. "Our reef?"
"Yeah, you know, after we bring the princess back to Plankton."
"Spongebob, there's no our, there's no we! There's just me and my reef. And the first thing I'm going to do when I get back is put up a ten-foot fence around my land."
Spongebob's ears drooped sadly. "You cut me deep, Squidward. You cut me real deep just now." Another few minutes of silence followed before Spongebob spoke again: "Y'know, I think this whole 'fence' thing is just a cleverly unclever way to keep someone out."
"Nooooooooooo, you think?"
"Alright, now I see what's going on!"
Squidward groaned. "Spongebob, just leave me alone."
"I'll leave you alone as soon as you quit blocking!"
"I'm not blocking!"
"Yes, I think you are blocking!"
"Shut up, Spongebob!"
"Just tell me who you're trying to keep out, Squidward, tell me that much."
"Everyone, okay?" Squidward shouted angrily, jumping to his feet. "You stupid arrogant little-! I want to keep everyone out!"
"Oh, now we're getting somewhere!" Spongebob rolled his eyes and huffed. "What's your problem? What do you have against the world, Squidward? Hmm?"
"Look, I don't have anything against the world, okay? It's the world who's against me! They take one look at me and scream, 'GAH! HELP! A big, stupid ugly ogre!' Of all the types of ogres in the world, squid-ogres are the least aggressive, and yet we're thrown right in the rank of big and stupid, just because we're so ugly! THAT'S my problem!" Squidward caught his breath, the realization of how much he just revealed to Spongebob setting in. For some reason, though, it felt kinda good to get off his chest...
"And..." Squiddy huched over, shaking his head sadly. "...That's why I'm better off alone."
He just sat there in silence for a few minutes, then he felt a presence next to him, but didn't dare to look up anyway. Both of them sat quietly for a while, a quite which Spongebob finally broke after a few seconds:
"You know, Squidward, when I met you, that day you scared off the guards... I didn't think you were just a big, stupid, ugly ogre." When Squidward refused to reply, he added, "I never have thought that."
After another moment, with a sigh of defeat, Squidward shrugged. "Yeah, I know."
"...Sooooooooooooo... Are there any sponges up in the stars? Or... Donkey-sponges?"
"Um... Yeah... There's... Well, there's... There's Kaila, the small... And... Annoying."
"Oh, okay, I think I see it now... That big shinny one, that one right there, Squidward, is that it?"
"That's the moon."
"Oh... Okay."
_________________________________________________________
Chapter 10: I KNOW I Got You Beat
Squidward awoke the next morning to the sound of singing and Spongebob moaning suggestively in his sleep.
The first thing he heard was a voice that sounded all too familiar... At first he couldn't remember where he was, but then he recalled yesterday's events (and that oh-so-obnoxious song...) and realized who the voice belonged to.
...Shannon? What was she doing up singing so early? What had happened to that pessimistic mermaid he had come to know last night?
"Mmmmmm... Oh, yeah, baby, you know that's how I like it... Mmm..." Squidward turned and saw Spongebob stirring a bit in his sleep, and he couldn't help but crack a grin before confusion set in.
Wait... Shannon was singing... So she was in a good mood...? So early? Overnight? Just like that?
"Spongebob!" He hissed. "Spongebob, wake up!"
Spongebob's eyes slowly cracked open, and he looked up at Squidward with a tired, sheepish grin on his face. "Oh, mornin', Squidy. Up so early?"
"Listen!" Spongebob listened to the singing for a moment, propped up on his elbows, then yawned and rubbed his eyes. "Oh, that's just the princess."
"But... Why is she singing?"
"Squidward, I think we've both established that she likes singing."
"But not when she's in a bad mood! She didn't sing at all yesterday for most of the trip!"
"And...?" Spongebob rolled back over on his side and closed his eyes again, desperate to go back into whatever apparently sweet dream he had been having.
"Morning, boys!"
That woke him up. "Why, good morning, princess!" Spongebob chirped as he sat straight up and smiled his sweetest smile up at her. Squidward just gave her a confused look.
"What's got you up so early?"
Shannon had her hands behind her back, smiling gently at them as she spoke. "It's just, well... We got off to such a bad start yesterday. I shouldn't have reacted like I did. That was foolish of me. So I wanted to make it up to you two... After all, you did rescue me! So..." She took her hands out from behind her back and revealed two flowery necklaces. "I made all of us daisy chains!"
Spongebob was happy to oblige, actually getting down on one knee in front of her as if being knighted as she placed the necklace over his head. Squidward, however, winced at the frilly accessory and whipped it off the minute she wasn't looking.
"Now," Shannon piped, swiming ahead with excitement, "let's get this day started right!"
Squidward and Spongebob shared a confused look for the umph-teenth time that week before following after her.
o0o
Squidward wasn't quite sure what was worse: A resistant Shannon or a happy-go-lucky Shannon. As they traveled, she would randomly start twirling or stop to sing with the scallops (one which she accidentally blew up when she hit a high note- Well, if there was one thing Squidward learned that day, it was that that really was possible after all). By late morning, however, she started getting a little bit easier to bear. Of course, all it took was a song...
"No matter," she said shortly after the scallop had blown up and she got some mud on her dress, "it's a beautiful day and after a lifetime of misery, things are finally going my way."
She twirled on ahead until chuckling stopped her. When she turned, Spongebob's eyes went wide and he pointed at Squidward immediately.
"Gee, thanks," Squidward breathed sarcastically under his breath.
"...Why did you chuckle?" Shannon asked meekly.
"Huh? What do you mean 'why did I'?"
"I mentioned a lifetime of misery and... Well... You chuckled."
"Of course I chuckled!" Squidward chuckled again just to agitate her. "A lifetime of misery? Sure, you're funny, princess!"
Shannon scowled and put her hands on her hips. "You saw how small that room was!"
"You had everything you needed to survive!"
"But survival started to get pretty dull after a while!" She shook her head in detestment. "Sir Squidward, there are things you don't know about me. You know, about how rough I had it."
"...You know, you're right. I'm sorry," Squidward said straight-faced, sending her a look of pity. "It must've been so hard on you when you ran out of shampoo."
Shannon practically seethed, and Spongebob took a step back, fear etched into his face."
"That little cozy tower of yours," Squidward mocked, "SURELY served as a lifetime of misery!"
"Cozy? Are you KIDDING?" Shannon took a deep breath to regain her composure after her little outburst, straightening up, concealing her anger behind a blank face. "I had nothing in that tower," she sang in a made-up tune, "fighting boredom by the hour! Princess lonely, walking circles, I had only..." Squidward rolled her eyes as Shannon ticked items off on her fingers. "Bare essetnials: Army cot, a hot plate and a chamber pot, and every morning I would boil it; no choice, I had no toilet!"
She looked off into the trees as the memory of that one window rushed back into her head, and she shivered. "Just a view of devastation out one window, isolation in my bedroom, and very little headroom! Twenty years I sat and waited- I'm very dedicated- On the walls the days were added, luckily those walls were padded!"
Squidward had to force back another laugh as she tossed her head dramatically. "Soooooooo, I think I got you beat, I think I got you beat! Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think I got you beat, I think I got you beat!" She tossed a Z-snap in Squidward's direction before turning around and swimming forward.
But this battle was farfrom over. "Pfft! I've heard better, I'm just saying," Squidward shot back. "'A' for effort, thanks for playing! Sad to see a princess suffer..." Shannon had stopped now and turned to face him, faux interest sketched onto her face, so Squdward continued. "BUT I had it rougher."
Shannon scoffed again and glared up at him. "Like that time a mob with torches burned my britches, see the scorches?" Shannon shielded her eyes as Squidward lifted up his shirttail and stuck his hip out at her. "You can look now." Shannon uncovered her eyes, cheeks flushed. Ah, innocence... "You're just whiney; I had a flaming hiney! As I fled I had to wonder, if I were torn asunder... Would an ogre go to Heaven? And, oh yeah- Did I mention I was seven?" Shannon was the one to roll her eyes this time. "Soooooo, I think I got you beat, I think I got you beat! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I think I got you beat, I think I got you beat!" He attempted (rather poorly) to throw back her Z-snap from earlier, then laughed as he took the lead on the trail.
"Pfft!" Shannon growled and swam in front of him. No giving up now! "No warm regards..."
Squidward shrugged it off. "No Christmas cards..."
"And every day-"
"Was hell on earth day, yeah, yeah, I know!"
Shannon tossed back her braided hair in frustration. "Okay, top this! I missed my prom!"
"Missed your prom?" Squidward snorted. What kind of a great misery was that? "My dad and mom sent me away..." He leaned in slyly and added in a hushed whisper, as if he actually didn't want anyone else to hear: "It was my birthday!"
For a moment, Squidward was sure he had the longer end of the stick, because Shannon just stared up at him dumbfounded, mouth agape, a saddened expression in her eyes. Then, right as he was about to laugh and rub it in her face, she leaned forward even more, to where their noses were touching, and whispered: "I was sent away on Christmas Eve."
It was Squidward's turn to stare dumbfounded at her, then when he came back to his senses, he growled angrily, and she shot out a short laugh.
At that time Spongebob decided to rejoin the party, and he stepped between the two before they could start getting into any... Physical fighting of the sorts. But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't get them to stop yelling at each other about their terrible pasts.
"Guys, guys!" He even pled with them. "We shouldn't reflect on the history that tore us apart, but embrace that which brings us together!" Of course, they ignored him.
"Oh waaaaah, I missed my prom!" Squidward mocked in a high-pitched tone as Shannon kept repeating the list of the "few" things she had in her tower.
Shannon gripped her fists tightly together to refrain from knocking him in the face and swam forward at full speed, stopping abruptly and snapping at the same time as Squidward: "My dad an mom sent me away!"
They just stood (or floated, for her case) there for a few more moments, finally having run out of things to say, fuming at each other. Neither of them were quite sure just what happened after that... It was as if their last fighting words had finally sunk in, and suddenly, instead of glaring, the looks in their eyes changed to... Wonder? Admiration? Well, whatever it was, it was certainly... Different.
"So..." Shannon started back up quietly.
"...Sooooo..."
After another pause, they sang softly together. "I think I got you beat, I think I got you beat..."
"Yeah..."
"Yeah..."
"Yeah..."
"Yeah..."
"Yeah..."
"Yeah..."
"Yeah..."
"I think I got you beat, I think I got you beat..." A smile stretched across both of their faces, and they picked up the excitment.
"Yeah!"
"Yeah!"
"Yeah!"
"Yeah!"
"Yeah!"
"Yeah!"
"Yeah!"
By this point, they were practically bouncing where they stood. Whatever the anger from that little fight had gone, it had gone far, far away.
"I think I got you beat, I think I got you beat! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah-"
They were abruptly cut off by a loud shriek of laughter, and when they looked over, Spongebob was collapsed on the ground, clutching his stomach, red in the cheeks.
Squidward sighed and glared at him. "What now?"
Spongebob looked up at him, tears in his eyes, and choked, "Oh... Well, I know this is kinda unfitting for the moment, but... I finally got that 'compensating' joke!"
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