It's a Wonderful Roleplay

[Deli]

I was thinking of doing an SoS story. A parody of ''It's a Wonderful Life''. A little late for Christmas, I know, but I'm doing it. I actually toyed around with this idea Christmas of 2009, and I wanna do it.

I figured since in the Oz parody (which failed horribly) starred Pixie in the better version, and Peaches in the horrible version I will not bring into subject because it sucked, I'd like to take a chance to bring one of my characters into a starring role. No, not M; Damon. I believe he needs more character depth than a pervert. This is a bit of an experiment, to see if I can make him a little more rounded. I have to admit, like many of the things I do, it was inspired by Muppets. Yes, Muppets, I know; here we go again. I watched It's a Very Merry Muppet Christmas Movie. They lose the budget on the Theatre to a cruel business woman, and Kermit begins to drown in self-loathing. An angel from above, Daniel, decides to help him. So God (played by Whoopi Goldberg), sends him down to help, his first time ''on the field''. Kermit is shown the lives of his friends in a world where he was never born; a horrible experience, but very heartwarming. I didn't see this last year, when I first had the idea, but it really rekindled the flame.

ANYWAY, enough about that. Expect the first chapter WHEN THE BELL TOLLS ONE!!! (Sorry, I've been watchin The Muppet Christmas Carol. XD)

[Deli]

NOTE TO EVERYONE WHO IS READING THIS!!!!!!!!


I plan for all the SpongeBob characters to be human, as I've always pictured them in SoS, for some reason. Some of their names will be edited to display a more human feel. Ex: Squidward = Edward (not of the Cullen kind). Just thought I'd let you know. ~ Deli

[graphicsgirl]

Sounds great Deli! Damon's one of my fave SoS characters and it'll be great to see his character...ummm...well I can't think of the word, but still. Can't wait to read it! It is the American way...*ahem* It is the BRITISH WAY!

[Deli]

Glad you like the idea! Merry Christmas! ACK! *is beaned by an ice skating penguin*

[Deli]

~Chapter 1~

''I WISH I HAD NEVER BEEN BORN!''


Those were the words that pierced the night. Damon stood there, huffing. His face was contorted with anger. ''Do you hear me, God? I wish I had never been born!'' The rain fell harder than ever at that moment. He lowered his fists, breathing hard. Damon's glare flinched slightly from the sky to the ground. He stood there, motionless and angry, for what seemed like hours. But they were only minutes. Without a second glance, he stuffed his hands into his pocket and set off down the road.



And to think; all of this started over one...

...little...

...incident...



***


The atmosphere in the city was very bright and merry. The streets were lined with lights and little trees. People were singing in the streets. Mothers and children were walking hand and hand, bright expressions of joy and warmth. There was one place in the entire town that made this place look like a graveyard. This was the School of Spandy. It was adorned with many colored lights and plastic stand ups. The very place itself seemed to be singing. On the inside, it may have appeared normal, yes, but inside it held many strange people.

There was Robert SquarePants, a man who ran the school with pride and fairness. The fair Sandy Cheeks, who acted as a guide to the students. And the ever so sultry art and music teacher Edward J. Tentacles. There were many other teachers too. Such as genius Sheldon J. Plankton, and driving instructor Miss Poppy Puff, who worked part-time as a substitute.

The students were very odd as well. There was Pixie; the bubbly teenage girl, who harbored a secret affection for the principal (and could get pretty tough about it when she wanted to). GG, the student from Britain who loved everything Neopets and British. Peaches, who had a deep love for Korean culture, ogres, and unrequited love between a ninja and a noodle-girl. May, who loved music and singing. Steel; a kind boy who was very quick witted and good in a tight situation. M, a boy who dearly loved Muppets and was a magnet for misfortune. Jingle, a country girl with a heart of gold and had a way with animals. And lastly, Damon. Damon loved to toy around with girls and play basketball. Damon also had a secret. Two secrets, actually, but we won't know that until the end, really? That's what these sappy holiday stories are about, anyway... and I just realized how many commas are in these paragraphs. Well, I'll fix that later... dang!


Everyone was inside, getting the place ready for the annual Christmas party. ''Pixie!'' Mr. SquarePants called from the center with a megaphone, ''You're free, so string the lights over the doorway!'' Pixie looked up from the cake she was icing. ''Err, yes-sir.'' She ran over to the light box and grabbed a handful. ''Oi!'' cried GG from the corner, who was helping Jingle hang ornaments. ''Why did we have to get a real tree? I keep getting poked!'' SquarePants picked up the megaphone again, ''It's all for the cause, Ms. Brown!'' Jingle smiled brightly. ''Yeah! All for the cause! Right, Abby?'' The little dog beside her barked happily, staring at the both of them. GG rolled her eyes. ''All for the cause, my natural British-'' ''But!'' called May, hat covered in holly, ''All I'm saying is that we need ten dozen more poinsettias, that's all M!'' M goggled at her, obviously furious. ''Woman, I am not a plant shop!'' he shouted, jingle bells on his Kermit collar tinkling. ''You can't grow that many plants in a day, it's just not natural! Get some plastic ones from the shop down the street!'' ''But it won't be as authentic!'' May sighed. She put her arm around him. ''If we can't get the poinsettias, then just cover that twelve foot rose in your greenhouse with bells or something. Bring that in, huh?'' ''No!'' M protested. He dropped his voice to a whisper and said, ''That's for her...'' he snapped, eying Pixie nervously.

Steel and Damon were staring out the window. ''Hm...'' pondered Steel. ''Christmas Eve, and still no snow. I was kinda hoping for a white Christmas.'' Damon nodded absentmindedly, gazing over at May, who wasn't looking. ''I'M kinda hoping for a White Girl Christmas. Mm-m-m.'' he said, waggling his eyebrows. Steel rolled his eyes and laughed. ''Oh, jeez.''

Damon always had high hopes around Christmas. Not just because of mistletoe. It was just a single unexplainable euphoria he felt in his heart of hearts. And trust me, this guy has a deep heart. Maybe it was because of all the lonely Christmases he had in the past. What with his mother and father always going on vacation. It could have been that this was the first Christmas he had spent at school. Whatever the reason, he loved this holiday. M stalked over to the two, looking disgruntled and grouchy. ''What's wrong, bro?'' asked Damon, trying not to stare at the jingle collar. ''May wants me to grow ten dozen poinsettias by tonight. How could she say that?! Does she know what the laws of nature are?! Mother Earth is not a corporate factory!'' he growled. Steel shrugged. ''Just forget it and grab a cup of cocoa,'' Steel's eyes flicked to the collar, and he snorted to hold back a giggle. ''Yule Frog.'' Damon shot cocoa out of his nose laughing. M glared at the two of them and walked off.

[Deli]

~Chapter 2~

***



An hour had gone by and the school was nearly ready at last. Mr. Tentacles was sulking in the corner, angry because Robert wouldn't let him hang his paintings. ''We don't wanna scare people away!'' he snorted in a mock imitation of Robert's voice. ''Bah! Humbug.'' And he stalked away to the art room. GG snickered as he went out the door. ''Does me heart good to see him unhappy, it really does.'' Pixie shot a death glare at her. ''Could you leave him alone for just a day, GG? It's Christmas!'' GG shrugged. ''Whatever helps you fantasize about the principal at night.'' Jingle giggled into her hands. Pixie smirked at the two of them and got back to hanging the lights. She stepped down from the ladder and admired her work. ''Well, that's done. Who's gonna help me hang the mistletoe?'' she said, her eyes flicking to SquarePants suggestively. ''Why not ask M?!'' chimed in Peaches, wearing a necklace of colored lights. Pixie stared at her. ''Him? Oh please. He's out of any girl's league.'' M, overhearing the conversation frowned and sulked off to help Ms. Cheeks with the punch bowl.


''Alright! Gather 'round everyone!'' cried Robert, again with the megaphone. The students and staff members congregated around him. ''I need two volunteers to go pick up the presents from the post office. Who wants to-'' ''ME! ME! ME! Oh dear Lord, MEEEE!!'' cried Peaches, frantically waving her hand in the air. ''Peaches, do you remember what happened last Christmas when you got the presents? You know, the thing about mailing yourself to Korea?''said Sandy, laying a hand on the girl's shoulder. Peaches thought for a moment, then slowly pulled her hand back down. ''We'll go, Mr. SquarePants. M and I.'' said Damon, raising his hand slightly. Robert nodded and smiled. ''Ah, good... neither of these guys has a ninja boyfriend.''


On the streets of the city, M and Damon stood outside the post office in a long line. Damon tapped his feet impatiently. ''God, man! When is this line gonna speed it up?!'' he protested. M simply smiled, and looked like he was about to sing. Damon twirled a finger in his ear. He could have sworn he heard music. He looked over at M who was bobbing along to it. He frowned anxiously. ''Oh no. You're gonna sing aren't you...?''

''You blink twice, and the year's gone by!
I started thinking there's gotta be a reason,
Why would time wanna learn to fly?
Gets ya quicker to your favorite season!''

Damon looked unimpressed and embarrassed. People were swaying to the music and listening as he sang. The post office doors finally opened and everyone ran inside.

''Oh what the hell...'' said Damon throwing up his hands.

''Starting 'round Thanksgiving...
Count the ways we're blessed!
Suddenly, the world's out shopping;
It brings out our BEEEEEEST!''

''Heeeeey!
Give it up for the folks in gray!
Some applause for the postal service!'' They clapped as M finished the verse as Damon joined in again,

''Tough enough for the Christmas Rush,
Always cheerful in the ways they serve us!''

''Snow nor sleet nor frozen feet, could cause this gang to fail!''

A postman jumped up on the counter of the mailing room.

''Our goal is pure, we're making sure, that Santa gets his MAAAAAIIIIL!''

M and Damon entered the mailing room. Everyone was singing along and dancing as if they had rehearsed it. ''What kinda post office is THIS?'' asked Damon, looking around. M just laughed.

They walked over to the post man.

''Pick it up, gotta beat the clock,
Pick it up 'cause the pressure's on us!''

Damon stared as letters flew by.
''Letters flying around the world,
The little ones are depending on us...''

''Christmas is approaching fast,''
''We all have parts to play...''

''In making sure that you wake up to that perfect Christmas DAAAAAY!''

Ooooooh, we're delivering Christmaaaaas... oooooh, we're delivering DREEEEAAAMS!''

M began dancing along with the postal workers.
''That time of year again...'
When Christmas joy...!''

Damon put his arm around M.
''Ignites the hopes and dreams,
of every girl and boooooy!''

''We made the world a promise,
There's nothing we won't do!
We're here to make your Christmas wish come true!''

The music faded and slurred on as the two finally came out of the post office. They were laughing and singing random lyrics from the song. ''Ah, I'm glad you're a Muppet expert, man.'' laughed Damon. ''You always bring on a good musical number.''

And they went back to the school... unaware that they had left everything behind.

[graphicsgirl]

Oh my dithering do-dah! This is GREAT! *desperately waits for new chapter*

[Erin]

Ooooh! I love this! This is a very adorable little parody. :3

Damon is a very misunderstoond character and sadly a little under-developed,and this story could possibly provide some background on his true personality other then him just being the class pervert. Heh heh.

I like the little M/Pixie hints. ^^ There my favorite SOS pairing,right next to Dammon/May.

(Speaking of May,I see you changed her back into a white girl again. XD)

(Which is awesome! Bi-racial couples are so cute! <3)

Great job so far! PLEASE update soon!

(Do you think you could ever write or rewrite any of those other SOS parodies?)

(Ex: Toy Story,Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs,Wizard of Oz. Etc.)

Hahaha. I'm rambling. xDD;

SERIOUSLY,CONTIUE WITH THIS!

[peaches2217]

DUDE, THIS IS AMAZING. Heh, little hint at Peaches' shipping PixiexM... XD

DUDE... THIS IS JUST... AWESOME.

[Cassidy in Wonderland]

very well written, I do admire it ^_^ PLEASE continue soon!

[Deli]

Thank you all! I don't think I'll rewrite any of my old parodies. They were full of fail and I'm embarassed by them... they haunt me. So yeah, um, no. If I make another Oz parody I might cut my hands off and crash my computer. However I might do the Toy Story one... and quite possibly a Princess and The Frog one with May and Damon as Naveen and Tiana.

[WWESpongefan]

How about Despicable me? I actually just saw that for the first time two days ago. It was pretty good.