SCRUM Script: Who Bob What Pants?

[howsimplylovely]

(Spongebob is confused as ever on the streetcorner, when a police officer comes jogging up after seeing the gangstaz run off.)
SB: oh! Officer I didn't mean to. It was an accident! You see, I don't know-
Officer: Are you ok, son?
SB:...well...yeah. Yeah, I think so.
Officer: That was magnificent. Those gangsters have been troubling our city for years and you beat those guys down with a mere bubble! They'll be back, yeah, with more guys and now they'll probably want to beat you to a pulp, but that really was something...say, what's your name?
SB: Erm....That's what I was tryin' to tell you. I don't remember who I am or where I'm from. I think I was in some sort of accident or something and just I came here.
Officer: Hmmm...an accident? Why don't I take you back to headquarters and we can figure out a place for you to stay till you get your bearings.
SB: Sure. That sounds ok.
....

[angel624]

(I'd add some more, but I got nothing! I've got all these scenes in mind for the ending, but nothing in the middle! *snuggles Felicity, the sweet cat she must give away tomorrow because she has feline AIDS*)

[howsimplylovely]

(Poor Felicity! )

[angel624]

(Yes, poor kitty...she's such an angel...she stayed on my bed with me almost all night long and purred......since she's gonna be on my grandma's porch, I'm gonna kidnap her back when I get my own apartment. I can't keep her now because we have other cats and we don't wanna give them AIDS...)

(Hey, I've been inspired!)

More random Patchy crap and a commercial break. After the break, there is more Patchy crap that is actually a little bit funny, but not that much. Kinda like the previews for Disaster Movie...

There is an angry mob at the Krusty Krab.

Angry Mob: Where's the fry cook? We want our Krabby Patties! We're starving! We're mad as heck and aren't gonna take it anymore!!! etc, etc, etc

Mr. Krabs: Everyone, please calm down! We're trying to remedy the situation!

Angry Mob: We want a solution NOW! *brandishes torches and pitchforks*

From a safe distance, Sandy and Squidward watch the scene unfold. Patrick is crawling behind them, turning every pebble and grain of sand over to see if SpongeBob is underneath it.

Sandy: Selfish little critters. Why are they so worried about eating when SpongeBob could be in trouble?!

Squidward: Once again, why do you care so much?

Sandy: Because I--! *she catches herself* I - I - I just want to.

Squidward: *realizes something* Wait a minute...you like him! You like like him! *slaps his knee and laughs* That's a riot! The squirrel has a crush on the sponge! Hahahaha!

Sandy: And what's so wrong about that?!

Squidward: Nothing, it's...*still laughing*....SpongeBob, he...*wipes a tear of joy from his eye*...ho, I'm getting a cramp!...SpongeBob has--*realizes that Sandy has gone away* Sandy?

Scene cuts to Sandy as she barges through Jellyfish Fields

Sandy: Squidward just don't get it, the idiot. What's so wrong about a girl liking a guy who thinks she's too crazy for him?

Stops at the edge of a cliff and looks down.

Sandy: Wait...what's that?

She has spotted New Kelp City.

Sandy: Maybe he's down there! *runs back to the others* Patrick! Squidward! Mr. Krabs!

Camera zooms in on the city, then fades to SpongeBob, lying in a bed and staring at the ceiling.

SpongeBob: I wonder what my name is...John Smith? John Doe? Long John Silver?

Door opens, and Mayor McBiddlebottom walks in.

Mayor: Ah, my good sir!

SpongeBob: Migud Zhir?

Mayor: I've come to congratulate you for chasing out those vicious theives. You, sir, are a true hero!

SpongeBob: Atreew Hiroe? Hey...that's sounds pretty good!

Mayor: I'm glad you think so! As a reward for your heroic actions, I would like to reward you with a special promotion.

SpongeBob: Promotion...?¹

Mayor: I am going on a small vacation, and I'd like for you to take over my position until I return.

SpongeBob: Really?! ... What do you do?

Mayor: *laughs* I'm sure you'll catch on sooner or later. What do you say, er...what's your name?

SpongeBob: Just call me "Atreew." "Atreew Hiroe."<sup>2

1</sup>: Remember how excited he used to get for promotions? This shows just how bad a shape he's in.
²: From now on, while SpongeBob has amnesia, I'm going to call him Atreew, because that's a cool name. But y'all call him whatever you wish! I'm just warning you ahead of time, so you don't get confused.

[howsimplylovely]

( MOARRR MOARR! I need more! lol. I like it! Especially the scene with Squidward and sandy. hehehehehe! ;D )

[angel624]

ARGH! WRITER'S BLOCK!!! SOMEBODY, ADD ON TO THIS OR SOMETHING, CUZ I GOT NOTHING!!!

*is slapped back to her senses*

Whoa...whuh happun?...

EDIT: nevermind, I was struck by lightning! Er, inspiration!

~~~

Transistion to the New Kelp City city hall. Backstage, SpongeBob, now called Atreew Hiroe, fixes his tie in the mirror.

Atreew: Dum de dum dum, becoming the mayor! Dum de dum dum, gonna be fun! ... I guess.

Mayor: Mr. Hiroe! *slaps a hand on his shoulder* How fare ye?

Atreew: Very well, good sir.

Mayor: *laughs heartily* Ah, Atreew...*places the mayoral hat on Atreew's head*...I'm glad I've left the city in your capable hands!

Atreew smiles at the hat.

Female voice offscreen: SpongeBob!

Sandy, Patrick, Mr. Krabs, and Squidward run onscreen. Patrick immediately tackles SpongeBob.

Patrick: OH, SpongeBob, I'm so glad to see you and I'm glad you're not dead and I'm glad--!

Atreew: I'd be very glad if you got off of me!

Patrick: Anything for you, SpongeBob! *scampers to his feet*

Mr. Krabs: Come on, boy, let's get you back to the Krusty Krab, where you belong!

Atreew: ...the wha?

Mayor: ...friends of your's, Atreew?

Atreew: I'm not sure...I don't think so...

Patrick/Mr. Krabs: What?

Sandy: *to herself* Don't think so...?...*begins to figure something out*...oh, no...*aside, to Patrick, Mr. Krabs, and Squidward*...it was such a long way down here from the cliff...SpongeBob must've hit his head and got amnesia! He don't remember a thing...including us...

Patrick is so shocked, he doesn't burst into boisterous tears. Instead he buries his face in his hands (so to speak) and sobs silently.

Squidward: Doesn't...remember? *joyfully clicks his heels together* My prayers have been answered, thank merciful Neptune above!

Sandy: But I can't be sure...he could just be faking it cuz he's mad at us...you guys go wait outside, I'm gonna ask him a few questions.

Squidward skips outside, whilst Mr. Krabs leads Patrick out.

Sandy: Mr. Mayor, mind if I speak to this sponge for awhile?

Mayor: You have five minutes until he makes his introductory speech. *leaves*

Sandy: *places a hand on Atreew's shoulder* Hey, SpongeBob, remember me? Ol' Sandy Cheeks? Your karate partner and best bud? *smiles sweetly at him*

Atreew: *no recognition is seen in his face* Nope, sorry. I think I'd remember an underwater talking weasel.

He rubs his hands on Sandy's helmet, trying to discern what it is.

Atreew: Especially one as beautiful as yourself.

Sandy: *blushes* SpongeBob!

Atreew: My name is NOT SpongeBob! It's Atreew. Atreew Hiroe.

Sandy: No, it is not. I have known you for many years, so I should know! You are SpongeBob SquarePants, fry cook at the Krusty Krab, jellyfisher, and -- *hesitates to say it* --a guy I really care about.

Atreew: Really? Wow...are you sure?

Sandy: Yes.

Atreew: You're not setting me up are you? Did the secretary hire you to pull a prank on me?

Sandy: No.

Atreew: You're seriously telling me that I'm all that?

Sandy: Yes. It may sound crazy to you, but you have to trust me!

Atreew: ..........*tries to remember*...........nope, sorry, doubt it. But I would like to get to know you better, if ya know what I mean? *arches eyebrows suggestively* You can tell me some more about my *quotes with fingers* "true identity" over a romantic candlelight dinner, eh? *hands her a card* My card. Be sure to give me a call, yes?

Mayor: Atreew, you're up!

Atreew: Wish me luck, doll! *scampers onstage*

Sandy gazes down at the card, then back up at the area where Atreew last was.

Sandy: ...he doesn't remember me...

Background fades to black, leaving a dissapointed and saddened Sandy visible against a black screen.

Sandy: ...SpongeBob...

Fades out.

Scene immediately cuts to Atreew on stage giving his mayoral speech, which I will let someone else write.

[Muffin]

(I'll try and think of something... I haven't been able to think of any fanfiction-ness in a looong time...)

[angel624]

Hooray, I thought of something! *has edited previous post* But I'll leave SpongeBob/Atreew's mayoral speech to you guys....yeah, the flirting thing just randomly came to me...

[Muffin]

Teh Spandyness-- I CAN'T TAKE IT!! (implodes) If the episode is as good as this, (which would never happen) I think I might have a heart attack...

[howsimplylovely]

Mayoral address...?:
My good citizens of New Kelp City:
Today I will assume the role as mayor of this great city. This position will not be taken lightly! I shall fight for the rights of every last citizen; be he a strong, muscular gangster or a weaker, bubble blower!
*the crowd cheers*
As your new mayor, ladies and gentlefish, I will fight for you! I will serve you as your humble mayor! or my name isn't Spongebob Squarepants!
*The crowds are confused*...er..I mean...Atreew Hiroe!
(The crowds cheer and "Atreew" waves. But inside he's wondering why he had called himself that name...)
...

[angel624]

Meanwhile, outside, three young maidens¹ are comforting the sobbing Patrick. Squidward has scampered off to a local spa to celebrate, and Mr. Krabs has just met Sandy as she left the building, a blank look on her face.

Mr. Krabs: Well? Out with it, mammal!

Sandy: It's worse than I thought. Not only doesn't he remember who he is or I am, he's changing into a completely different person! In fact, he flirted shamlessly with me, invited me to dinner, and gave me his card. *shows him the card*

Mr. Krabs: Wow. No wonder you look so upset. I doubt any woman could survive going out with a fry cook.

Sandy: *scoffs* It's not the date that's upsettin' me! It's the fact that he don't remember anything about us...er, me...er, him...er--

Mr. Krabs: I understand, Sandy. I felt the exact same way about Pearl's mother. See, it was back in 1957--

Sandy: *groans*

Mr. Krabs: Then again, I can see you're not in the mood for stories. So, what are you gonna do?

Sandy: Me?

Mr. Krabs: Yeah. You dragged the rest of us into this, you are the one he asked out on a date, and you are going to solve this problem and get my fry cook's memory back, so he can come back to the Krusty Krab and make me more money! Er, be happy. Or else, you're fired!

Sandy: ...I don't work for you.

Mr. Krabs: ...good point.

Sandy: But I am gonna solve this problem. And, I guess, it'll start by me going on a date with Mayor Atreew Hiroe.

At that moment, the door swings open, and out waltzes Atreew, followed by the citizens of New Kelp City.

Atreew: A-ha! There you are, Sally! *wraps an arm around her waist; suprisingly, she doesn't bat it away*

Sandy: Sandy!

Atreew: Sandy. Shall we make our way to the local restaurant for a little...*satisfaction*?

Sandy: *shocked*Oh, give me a break!

Atreew: I meant, satisfy your hunger.

Sandy: Oh...*gets an idea*...sure! Just let me choose the place, okay...*tickles his chin*...Atreew?

Atreew: *big grin* Lead the way, my beautiful weasel!

Sandy, pretending to show no concern about the fact that she just flirted with SpongeBob, the first person she'd always wanted to and the last person she thought she would, wraps her tail around the crook of her elbow, looking as though she is a rich woman carrying a fur coat. Atreew picks up a nearby cane. The two stride off towards the nearest burger joint, looking like the two richest critters under the sea.

Meanwhile, Mr. Krabs tries his best not to laugh at them.

¹: Or prostitutes. However you interpet it, I don't care.

[howsimplylovely]

Lawl. Prostitutes...haha.
(I don't know what could come next so...)
This is what could happen to Patrick...
Geniveve: Hey there, big boy. What's the matter? (She strokes his belly and chest.)
PS: My best f-f-friend doesn't remember me...*sobs*
Veronica X: Oh, you don't need him. How about we go somewhere. Is there anything you want to do?
(Patrick looks up and sniffs.)
Regina G:Anything at all?
Veronica: Anything.
PS: Ice cream?
(The girls look at eachother slyly.)
Regina G: Ok. Let's go get some ice cream for this big man, ladies.
(They walk off, each with arms around Patrick somehow...)

(lol. like my 'tute names?)

[Muffin]

...Someone post, because I'm to the point where I'm dreaming about this episode.

[howsimplylovely]

(We can try Muffin. hehe. I know now that we're way off of how the movie will go but it's still fun to do.)

The two walk arm-in-arm to a dumpy building on a street corner in down town New Shell City. On a tall metal post, in orange neon the words shine "Slippery Sam's Burger Shack." The first "S" flickered.

Atreew: 'Kay, Charles. (He motions to the large bodyguard fish that had followed them to the restaurant.) That'll be good. Miss Sally-Sa-SANDY! Weasel and I would like to spend the evening in each other's company. Alooone. (He wiggles his eyebrows)
(Sandy winces)
Charles: You sure, Mr. Mayor?
Atreew: Yes, and for being such a great bodyguard here's a tip. (He flips him a quarter.) Take the rest of the night off. (Charles walks away, looking at the quarter in his hand and scratching his head.)

Atreew: Guess that leaves just you and me, Miss Weasel. (He holds the door open for her and they go in.)
Sandy: Oh, actually, Mayor, my last name's Cheeks, 'n I'm a squirrel. Sandy Cheeks, the squirrel.
(Atreew looks at her for a moment, as if something had sparked in his brain, but he quickly shook it off.)
Atreew: A squirrel, of course! A lovely one at that!
(Sandy found herself genuinely blushing. Had he thought that before he was Mayor Atreew?)

(They walked up to the ordering counter, where they were greeted by a blue, fat, greasy fish whose name tag read "Sam.")
Sam: What'll yeh have?
(They ordered, and Atreew was ever-so-chivalrous. He ordered Sandy's, made sure it was perfectly to her liking and he paid for both. He carryed the trays to a table of Sandy's choosing and they sat down across from each other.)

Atreew:So, weasel or squirrel, they're both land creatures. Why'd you decide to come down here?
...........................................

[howsimplylovely]

(Hurry! Someone post!) lolz.