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Post by Erin on Apr 14, 2008 20:52:57 GMT -5
Part 5:
The next day at the park. Spongebob and Sandy had laid out a an lovely picnic. Sandy looked over at it in sadness.
Spongebob then noticed this. He looked up towards her in a frown. "What's wrong Sandy?" She looked back at him. She sighed "Oh its nothing.."
Spongebob looked back at the picnic. He frowned. "If you say so.." Sandy couldn't hold in anymore.
"Ok, I admit it!" "I'm NOT all having a good time!" "Look, I only pretended to like spending time with you so you wouldn't feel lonely!" "But your driving me insane!" She started to weep. Spongebob frown grew bigger.
"Look, Sandy if you didn't want spend want to time with me.." "All You had to do was tell me.." "Don't just drag it out.." He started to cry. Then he ran out with tears in his eyes.
Sandy then realized the error in ways, she called out to him. "Spongebob, wait come back!" But it was to late. For Spongebob had then meet Sandy's worst nightmare.
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Post by usamerican on Apr 14, 2008 20:58:30 GMT -5
I enjoyed it. Part 5 is very concise, but it is well written. You are an excellent narrator. You are very good at describing the scene and describing the emotions that the characters feel.
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Post by Erin on Apr 15, 2008 5:52:37 GMT -5
Gee Thanks ^^ ;D Part 6 may be a while...
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Post by usamerican on Apr 15, 2008 10:17:24 GMT -5
I'll be waiting (stares at the clock so long that the second hand stops moving because it's scared)
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Post by Erin on Apr 15, 2008 15:36:11 GMT -5
Hehe ^^ Don't worry It shall not be THAT long a wait...I hope...
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Post by usamerican on Apr 16, 2008 0:14:56 GMT -5
Take your time Pixie. Don't feel rushed!  |
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Post by Erin on Apr 16, 2008 6:06:02 GMT -5
Hmm..Well GUESS what I just wrote PART 6! ;D
Here you go!
Part 6:
Spongebob ran home, tears still fresh on his face. He slammed the door shut behind him, and sat on the couch. He sniffed. "She didn't have to pretend for me." he whispered to himself. "I would have understood..."
Meanwhile...
Sandy called Spongebob's name a few more times, before deciding that he wasn't coming back. She felt sick now, about lying--and worse, she felt sick about hurting his feelings. She gathered up his things, and then ran toward his house.
Knock knock knock!
"Who is it?" Spongebob's voice rang from inside.
"It's me...you left your stuff at the park."
The door opened a crack. His face was dry, but his eyes were red and puffy like he'd been crying hard. "Thank you." He mumbled.
Sandy bit her lip. "Spongebob, I'm s--"
"No, it's okay!" He interrupted, his voice cracking. "Really."
"Yeah...okay." She subconsciously wiped several tears from her face. "Just uh...take care."
"Alright...see you later, Sandy." Spongebob closed the door, and Sandy hung her head and started walking away.
"I shouldn't have been so mean." She told herself, sniffing and wiping away more tears.
"Sandy wait, come back!"
She spun around, to see Spongebob leaning out of his doorway.
"Yeah? What is it!?"
"I...never mind. I didn't mean to bother you." He turned around to walk back inside.
Sandy rushed toward him, catching the door just before he closed it. "Spongebob, wait!" She said.
"Yeah?"
"Look, I'm sorry I was such a jerk. I mean, you just lost your best friend...I should be more thoughtful!"
As soon as she finished the sentence, he burst into tears. "Sandy, I'm sorry I made you crazy! I didn't mean to irritate you...I just...I just..." He couldn't finish speaking, as sobs overcame him.
Sandy sighed and scooped him up in her arms. "There, there." She whispered.
Spongebob clung to her waist, still crying. He felt small, and vulnerable, and she didn't want to let go as he wept onto her shoulder. Despite herself, Sandy had to smile. She felt bad about it...but all of a sudden, the whole situation felt incredibly amusing. She couldn't hold back a giggle.
Spongebob was quiet for a moment, before Sandy gently pushed him away. She brushed at his cheek. "Hey, you know what?" She whispered.
He sniffed. "You're not m-m-mad at me, are you?" The poor little guy was still crying a little.
Sandy laughed. "Of course not, silly!" She told him. "Look, I think we both just overreacted. Whaddya say we go to a movie tomorrow? Hmm?"
Spongebob smiled. "Okay!" He said.
Sandy smirked, and kissed him on the cheek. "See you then, Spongebob!"
As she walked away, Spongebob felt his cheeks burn bright red. "Yeah...s-see you tomorrow! Sandy..." He cracked a smile, and then shut the door. "Good night, Gary."
"Meow." Good Night, lover boy.
Spongebob laughed, and turned off the light.
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Post by usamerican on Apr 16, 2008 10:29:52 GMT -5
I give you an A++++. The end of the chapter was fantastic! The end of the chapter may have been your best so far. You did a fantastic job describing how SpongeBob held close to Sandy and describing the interaction between the two before they left. I would give you a gold star if I were your English teacher.
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Post by Erin on Apr 16, 2008 21:12:49 GMT -5
SWEET! ;D Here's Part 7(It very short)  : Part 7: The next morning. Spongebob bounced out bed. Happy as he'd ever be. Spongebob then peered out his window. It was a sunny outside. But to his surpise he had actaully saw a moving van! Spongebob has very alarmed by this. He thought to to himself. "A moving van!" "This must mean Patrick's back!" He cried tears of joy.He quickly got dressed and got ready to greet his bestest buddy in the whole wide world. He then rushed out the door. He went ran out the door with tears of joy in his eyes. But he looked where the moving van was. He looked everwhere. Patrick was not there. Instead he met a certain some else. A certain someone else, who had some plans for him. But he being the jolly person he was decided to then greet her in a way that she'd certainly feel welcomed. Little did he know it at the time, that she'd felt way more then welcomed with him. Then he had hoped. |
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Post by usamerican on Apr 17, 2008 0:28:38 GMT -5
Nice foreshadowing at the end Pixie Don't worry about the length of your chapters. It is a pleasure for me just to get an opportunity to read your work. |
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Post by Erin on Apr 17, 2008 6:19:10 GMT -5
Yes, But still Part 8 may be a while.. Plus I still haven't put any info nor Detail really on this "New" Neighbor of his.
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Post by hettybobcat on Apr 17, 2008 21:09:25 GMT -5
The first bit was almost a reverse of Prehibernation Week. This time It's Spongebob who is wearing Sandy down. LOL! Cute story.  |
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Post by Erin on Apr 17, 2008 21:11:24 GMT -5
Ok here's Part 8:
Sandy stood outside of the movie theatre, staring at her watch and tapping her foot.
"Spongebob should be here by now!" She mumbled to herself.
She waited fifteen more minutes, before sighing. "Well...I guess he's just busy." She turned and walked back home, deciding to make a phone call to him.
--
Spongebob had greeted the new neighbor--Julia, as she'd introduced herself. She was a pretty young mermaid...with flowing black hair and dark blue eyes. He watched her, hauling stuff from the moving van to Patrick's old house. He smiled, dreamily.
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Post by usamerican on Apr 18, 2008 0:49:47 GMT -5
I curious to see what happens next!!! ;D
SpongeBob is crazy! There is no creature in the sea that is as beautiful as Sandy.
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Post by Erin on Apr 18, 2008 5:42:56 GMT -5
LOL! usamerican! hehehe I'm thinking of having Sandy meet Julian. I just don't know.. What do you think? |
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